All Roads Lead To Hell
by paraflymore
Summary: Loving him would be her greatest downfall - but on the highway to hell, nothing much else mattered. [title changed because ffn part 2 was just a working title]
1. You Shook Me

All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

TimeLine: See if you can guess...

Summary: Feels like this world has been growing slowly upside down

Fighting For Nothing  
Chapter One:  
"You Shook Me"

It had been six months.

And she was still trying to forget the way her name sounded in his mouth.

Lila only knew one way to sure fire way to forget everything.

She has five shots out in front of her on the bar – her friend whose name she was pretty sure was Mike was watching her with a proud smile as she downed her first one.

"Sure you can handle those baby?"

She scoffs, downing her second one. "Baby?"

He nods scooting closer to her. "No one out drinks me."

"Well it looks like you've met your match sir." she says throwing back her third one with ease. Lila was a pro at this game. Some guy thought she was pretty offered to buy her a shot and she challenged them to a drink off. More times than not she ended up winning.

Mostly because she could spot a lush a mile away – perks of being a bartender.

Mike – or maybe it was Mitch she was sure there was an M somewhere – downs another shot tying them up in their little competition. He was already pretty lit when they started this game but guys were all ego and they didn't like to get beat in a drinking game by little girls.

Lila looks over her shoulder around the bar. She was trying to move on, trying to find some sort of normalcy but she couldn't help but look for him... She had this silly fantasy that he would just walk into the door and see her and he would smirk and order her a jack and coke. It was silly, she knew this but it didn't take away from thinking about it.

She could see it plain as day in her head.

 _"What are you doing in a place like this?" He asks her having to lean in closely to be heard over the loud music._

 _"I've been waiting for you..."_

And in some sense that is what she was always doing, waiting for him.

But he _never_ shows up and so she ends up wasted fending off some creep who actually thought he stood a chance. He might have in a different universe but in this world it was always him and it always would be.

Lila finds herself kneeling over the toilet puking her guts up with his name ringing in her ears, like some sick twisted joke.

She hates this feeling in her chest – this overwhelming feeling that nothing was ever going to be okay again.

Why was it so crushing?

And no matter how much alcohol she drank she could not kill it.

As she picks herself up off the floor because lying there wasn't really an option. She was half considering calling Del to pick her up but she doesn't want to bother her. It was then that she realized that she was all on her own. It wasn't a revelation or epiphany she knew it the moment her mother took her last breath Lila knew that she was completely alone in this world.

And nothing made her more sad.

She's walking down the road because she knew she couldn't drive. It was sobering, the cool night air hitting her face and she was telling herself that everything was going to be okay and yeah she really didn't believe that it would be but she had to tell herself something to get through.

Headlights shine on her from down the road and she pauses only for a second because she thinks its him but that would be silly - this isn't a fucking fairytale and she had learned a very long time ago that they didn't exist.

But sure enough the big black impala stops right in front of her and she really thinks she is making it all up in her head for a second and then the door opens and he steps out - no wait - its not him its Sam. God he really was tall now it was crazy.

She didn't think, she didn't even take a breath she just threw her arms around him and let out a sigh of relief.

"What are you doing here?"

"We came to see you -" he says patting her back softly. "Why the heck are you walking down the road in the middle of the night?"

"I was out with some friends I had a couple of drinks and I didn't want to drive..." Lila pauses looking at the car she knew how Dean was about his car so seeing Sam driving it seemed kind of strange.

"Where is he?" she asks because it is still too painful to say his name out loud.

"Hmm?" he asks looking down at her.

"You said we..." her voice sounds small on it's way out.

"Oh." he looks back over his shoulder towards the car. "Dean's back at the motel..."

She nods, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear.

"Let me give you a ride Lila."

She nods - walking around the other side of the car. It had been years since she sat in that passenger seat but it felt like it had only been yesterday. She touches the worn leather gingerly before she gets in, like shaking hands with an old friend. She missed the smell mostly - leather always reminded her of him.

"You really shouldn't be out here by yourself." Sam says as he shuts his door.

"I'm fine." she says, but her head was hurting pretty bad already and she was beginning to think that she had skipped right to her hangover when she feels that familiar feeling - something she thought was long fucking gone.

The faint pain behind her eyes gave it all away.

Fuck.

Was it a Winchester thing? Did they just bring them on inside her or was it something else - like they only happened when she was in danger?

And suddenly she isn't in the car anymore and she's looking up at Sam but its not really Sam, his kind, dark green eyes are two black pools staring down at her.

She's tied to a chair in the middle of the room, she's been gagged with an old bandanna and her head is pounding.

He - no _it_ smirks at her. _"You ready to play a little game?"_

She's thrust back to the present, her hands are gripping the dashboard and she can feel the sweat pouring off of her.

Visions were like a bad acid trip and coming down from them was always hard.

"Pull over."

And she hears the sound of the doors locking.

"We're almost there." He says with a chuckle.

"Fucking pull over." and she is five seconds away from clawing its face to get out of the car. And she could kick herself because she is completely fucking vulnerable with absolutely nothing to defend herself with.

She looks over, and two black eyes are smiling at her. "I think you just need to relax,"

And he punches her right in the face.

She's too shocked to even react, but in that second she knows that it is no longer Sam Winchester in that car with her.

Then it catches her by her hair and knocks her head into the dashboard and everything goes blurry for a second.

Unsatisfied it brings her back one more time and she hears something crunch before it all goes black.

Waking up hurt.

Her ears were ringing and she felt like she was going to be sick. She was so sure that her nose was broken but that was the least of her problems. Her hands were tied behind the chair she was sitting in, along with her feet. Her vision is a little blurry as she looks around the small motel room.

It chuckles. "I was getting tired of waiting on you to wake up."

"Why are you doing this?" Her voice feels like rocks in her throat.

"Because I can." It gets up, pacing in front of her, its eyes boring into her for an uncomfortable amount of time. "I've been thinking – why haven't you and I ever..." It raises its eyebrows and smirks. "I mean you are – very nice to look at, even with your face all bruised up, sorry about that by the way. My plan was to drug you but you made that kind of impossible. What was that back there? A vision?"

"You sure do talk a lot."

It smiles at her. "Well you've been out for a while – I was bored."

"Your not Sam."

"Don't be so sure about that."

Lila coughs. "So what do you want with me? You trying to lure Dean here? You think I mean something to him?" She scoffs. "You picked the wrong girl buddy."

"No. He'll come. I am sure of it." It picks up a a large knife and twirls it around. "But until then what should we do to pass the time?"

She scoffs. "Fuck off."

"That's what I'm getting at here Lila, your

Lila looks away searching the room for anything she can possible get to. She's pretty sure that she can get the chair to break if she lands on it the right way and when she escaped from the ropes she needs something to defend herself with. But all she can see is the huge hunting knife in the things hands.

It leans in and draws its nose up her cheek, breathing in the smell of her. "Its a shame too – because you only have eyes for him – sad really because you will have to watch me kill him."

"Why? What do you gain from all of this?"

It shrugs. "That is a story for another time beautiful." It grabs a bandanna from its pocket and ties it around her mouth to keep her quiet. "Right now I just need you too look cute and helpless – he will eat it right up."

He hears someone banging on the door before he fully wakes up. The sound drumming through his brain along with his pulse. It all comes flooding back to him – Sam.

Sam was in trouble – he wasn't Sam.

That much was fucking obvious.

Dean opens the door, rubbing his temple softly. He felt a little nauseous and seeing the couple waiting for the room made it worse.

He bribes the manager to use a phone and turns on the GPS in Sam's phone and his worse fear is confirmed.

He doesn't think he breathes the whole way there – and he's trying to decide what hurts worse his head or his heart. He doesn't know how he let this happen. And yeah its his fault cause everything is his fault.

Right?

Because she was in danger because of him – again.

And It was beginning to become a pattern.

Was there any way he could keep this from happening? Could he really keep her safe? He wishes he could send her across the world with a clean slate and no memory of him. But stuff like that wasn't possible and even if he could find some way to do it he wasn't sure he could.

He knew that Lila would never be safe.

Simply because she knew him and because he cared about her she would always be in danger. She would always be something for them to use against him.

And he could never really keep her safe.

He tracks Sam's phone to a motel right outside of town, and once he sees the impala he knows he's at the right place. He just hopes that he isn't too late and he's thinking that he's gonna be sick as he debates on knocking the door down.

Then it just opens.

She's tied to a chair, looking up at with those big brown eyes and his chest falls – she's okay – for now at least.

"Not another step –" Sam says, stepping towards her with a huge hunting knife. "or I kill her."

"You don't have to do this Sammy."

He shakes his head – looking half crazy and he doesn't put anything past him at this point – but he knows that it isn't really Sam. He figured it out way before the thing had knocked him out. His brother wasn't a killer – darkness or not.

 _Sam was not evil._

"Come on Sam, put the knife down dammit."

He shakes his head, tears forming in his eyes. "I begged you to stop me Dean!" It hold the knife closer to her neck. "I can't control it, I feel like my head is on fire."

Lila's eyes flick towards his and she looks scared, more afraid than he thinks he has ever seen her before.

"Kill me or I'm gonna kill her! Please, you'll be doing me a favor."

Dean tries to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Shoot me!" It yells. "Shoot me!"

"No Sammy, just put the knife down.

"What the hell is wrong with you Dean?" He spits at him. "Are you that afraid to be alone that you'd let me kill Lila, the only person you ever loved?"

That one hurt – but what is it that they say about the truth?

It hurts.

"Just let her go, she has nothing to do with this."

"Oh." Sam – It shakes its head. "She has everything to do with this."

Dean lays his gun down, holding his hands up in mock defeat. "I'm not gonna shoot you Sam." And before the thing could even draw in a breath he pulls the flask full of holy water out of his pocket and tosses it on him.

It turns away with a hiss and the smoke from it's flesh burning rises around his brother's face. Seeing those black eyes broke him – because this could be thing the thing his father warned him about. And for a split second he wonders if that thing might really be his brother now. He flings more of it at him and takes a step back.

And before he can do anything else – it runs away.

His first instinct is to untie Lila and he can see the extent of her injuries as he cuts through the ropes on her hands. She scoffs, ripping the bandanna from her mouth and her eyes bore into him. "Cutting it a little close there."

He reaches to touch her face – wiping the blood from under her nose with his thumb. "I think its broken."

She turns away from him, grabbing the knife from the floor. "I think maybe you should be worried a little more about the demon inside your brother."

He nods, his eyes not meeting hers. Then without another word he's gone. He follows him out to the docks, there is an old boat garage that he notices has a broken window. Dean walks inside slowly, holding his gun out in front of him.

"So – who are you?"

"I've got lots of names." He hears him run behind one of the old boats.

"You've been in Sam since he disappered haven't you?"

It chuckles. "Should of seen your face when you thought he murdered that guy – pathetic."

He sighs. "Why didn't you just kill me? You had a dozen chances." He kneels behind one of the old boats and waits, trying to hear where its at.

"Where's the fun in that?" Its voice is somewhere far off. "You see this was a test, I wanted to see if I could push you far enough to waste Sam... Should of known you wouldn't of had the sack. But anyways – fun's over now."

"Well I hope you got your kicks. I'm gonna make sure you pay for this."

"How?" It laughs. "You can't hurt me, not without hurting your little brother..."

And there it was. The fucking thing had already won with that one. It was right, he wouldn't – couldn't hurt Sam. It's little test had proved that. Dean can hear it moving on the other side of one of the boats, and his heart it breaking in his chest as he looks down at the loaded gun in his hands, he can't shoot his brother.

Even if he is a black eyed son of a bitch now.

So he puts his gun in his jacket pocket and pulls the flask of holy water out of his jacket.

It was all he had now.

It pauses and its voice grows more menacing. "I think your gonna die Dean. You and every other hunter I can find. One look at Sam's dewy, sensitive eyes and they'll let me right in their doors."

He hears it make a run towards the door and he follows it, flask out in front of him, ready to take the damn thing down with what little he had left. But its quiet outside – too quiet.

And all he hears is a gun shot.


	2. Hollow

All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

Summary: Between a rock and a hard place.

Fighting For Nothing  
Chapter Two:  
"Hollow"

The sound of the gun shot was still ringing in her ears as she made her way down the docks, her cellphone pressed to her ear. She came running out of the motel room as soon as she heard the gun go off. She knew that he was the one that was hurt – knew it because he would never hurt his brother, not in a million years, even if he was possessed.

His phone keeps going to voicemail, and she's worried that he might actually be gone – no she refuses to think that. It can't be possible.

Dean Winchester just can't die like that.

She calls him again, praying to whoever the hell is listening that he's okay.

And then she hears what sounds like a rock song vaguely through the old boat garage, and she rushes towards the sound of it, slipping between the rails to reach him.

Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead.

She touches his face and he gasps for air.

"Thank God you're okay."

He forces a smile and she resists the urge to kiss him right there.

"Its okay." She whispers. "I got you..."

She helps him back to the motel, and dries him off, she runs off with shaking hands and steals a first aid kit from the maintenance closet that she has to break into. She rushes back into the room and he's on the phone, talking quietly to someone and he hangs up shortly after she walks through the door.

Lila pulls out a bottle of whiskey that she also found hidden in the closet and hands it to him with a smirk.

He's bleeding and his blood all over her hands had always been her biggest nightmare.

He sucks on the bottle of whiskey reminding her the way his lips tasted.

She was too fucking distracted to get this bullet out. Even though it was something she saw her momma do a dozen times.

"Just do it." He whispers, pulling a chair over and sitting down in it.

"You're losing a lot of blood. You should go to a hospital." She says in a small voice.

He scoffs. "I don't have time for that."

"Where do you think it went?"

"The bullet?"

"No, the demon you jackass."

"Its targeting hunters, the closest one I know is in South Dakota." Dean says with a labored breath.

Lila chews on her bottom lip and pulls the tweezers out of the first aid kit.

"On the count of three?" she asks it as a question and she is met by seething green eyes.

"Just fucking do it." He says sounding like he used to sound when she was just some annoying kid and he didn't think of her any other way.

It fucking hurt.

So she may have jabbed the tweezers in there a little too hard.

His knuckles turn white on the table. And the hitch in his breath breaks her heart.

She didn't really mean to hurt him.

"I'm sorry it came here." She says, her pride and ego too big to apologize for what she's really sorry for.

"Me too."

"Thing must be really stupid if it thought you'd kill Sam to save me..."

He sighs, his voice hitching as he speaks. "Lila,"

"I know I'm sorry."

"He was right, dad - hell even your mom was right. I'm bad luck and I can't drag you along with me on this."

"I'm not asking you to," she feels the bullet finally and tries to block him out so she can concentrate on what she's doing. She hates blood, it makes her feel sick to her stomach but she has to get this thing out.

He takes another sip of whiskey, grunting and breathing heavily. And she tries not to think that those noises sound an awfully lot like what he sounds like in the throws of passion.

"You're a butcher." he says angrily.

"And you're a fucking baby."

He stands up.

"For fucks Dean will you let me patch you up?" Her fingers on his arm feels like hot coals, burning into him.  
He wanted to bolt out of there. He had to find Sam he had to make sure Bobby was okay. But he was transfixed by her, unable to look away.

She opens up the bandage and her hands are shaking.

Was he just delaying the inevitable by not leaving?

"I can help." she says, barely a whisper.

He nods. "I know you can."

"Then why won't you let me?" she asks pressing the bandage to his shoulder.

He didn't know the fucking answer. He just knew he had to, to keep her safe. Every time he was around her she got hurt. He can still see her tied to that chair, knife to her neck, eyes begging him to help. Can still feel the fear in the pit of his stomach that he felt when that psycho ghost had her.

It was too much.

"I have to go Lila."

And she knows that now is not the time or place but she can't help but step closer, breathing in the smell of him. Her fingers curl around his shoulder pulling him in closer. The thought if him walking away from her was killing her.  
Their eyes meet and its more like a volcano erupting than it is a spark.

And she can't really blame herself for kissing him. She is selfish and lonely and sad and scared and she just wants to feel alive again...

And he's a little drunk.

Despite the protest in his shoulder when he does it he lift her up onto the table, her sigh landing somewhere in his gut.  
It was the easiest thing, falling into her.

Her hands lock around the back of his neck and all he can think about is getting closer.

But there was also so many other things he should be doing.

He pulls away, pressing his forehead to hers. "I have to go..."

"Take me with you, please?"

He's stupid. He knows this. But he could not just leave her – especially with the way she looked up at him like he was the only one who could save her.

But she doesn't even realize that it's the other way around.

That she is the one who saves him.

Always.

They ride most of the way in silence both of them afraid to speak – afraid that one word would ruin this space between them. He made her put some ice on her nose, because it looked horrible and he was like eighty percent sure it was broken.

But just like him she was too stubborn to go to a hospital.

Bobby's house was a little over a five hour drive from the Del's in Minnesota, but he had called Bobby to warn him that Sam might show up there, and Bobby was smart enough to handle it until he got there.

Three hours in and he finally decides to speak.

"You know Bobby Singer?"

She shakes her head, looking over at him with surprise in her eyes. "I've heard you guys talk about him before."

"He should be able to do something with your nose."

Lila removes the ice from her face and smiles. "I'm fine, stop worrying about me."

He sighs.

"I know this doesn't change things Dean, I know that the kiss didn't mean anything and once all of this is over you have to leave. I'm not stupid. I get it okay?"

"Lila..."

"No. Let me finish." She looks right over at him, all the conviction in the world in her brown eyes. "I care about Sam just like you do, and I have to make sure he's okay. After that I'll leave."

He swallows the lump in his throat. "Is that what you want?"

She looks out at the winding road.

No.

She wanted all of this, everything with him.

But she knew that she couldn't have it.

"Its not about what I want Dean, its about doing the right thing."

He lets out a deep breath. "Yeah... I guess your right."

He opens up the door quickly, his gray eyes landing on him with little emotion. Dean smirks at him and then Bobby looks at Lila. "You okay?"

She nods. "I've had worse."

He steps aside and lets them in, "I got Linda Blair tied up in the living room."

Dean nods and heads off in that direction and Bobby adverts his attention to Lila. "Can you breathe through it?"

She nods, "Yeah I don't think its broken..."

He holds his hands up and smiles at her, "Can I take a look?"

Lila nods and Bobby presses his fingers to her nose, he smiles, and turns around, getting her a rag and wetting it in the sink. "You'll have a nasty looking bruise for a two days, but it will heal."

"That's the good things about physical wounds, they heal."

Bobby's face softens. "I met your momma once. She was a good gal, I was sorry to hear about her passing."

What only can be described as the worst and noisiest exorcism occurs and Lila waits in the kitchen for what feels like an eternity and then Dean comes in grabbing a bottle of scotch from the table in front of her and downing a long sip.

"Is he okay?"

Dean nods but he doesn't look at her.

She wants to reach for hos hand but she doesn't think touching him would be a good idea at this point. Besides she had drawn that line and she wasn't going to be the one to cross it.

No matter how bad she wanted to.

"Bobby's got a guest bedroom upstairs. He said you can crash there for now, unless you would rather go home?"

Home? She looks at him, thinking that word over. Was home even really a place anymore?

Or was her home those two green eyes that won't meet hers?

"I'll help clean up."

Dean nods, and she reaches for the bottle of scotch, it was given to her anyways in the first place and she walks off to join them in the living room. She takes a shot when she sees the mess and Sam is picking up pieces of the chair in the corner.  
He sees her and his eyes fill up with tears. "Lila, I am so sorry..."

She shakes her head. "You don't have to say it Sam. I know you are." she offers him the bottle and she notices the burn on his arm.

"What happened?"

He turns the bottle up and takes a long swig.

"Demon's are getting real clever." Bobby offers from the other side of the room.

Lila looks over at him, he seems completely calm for what just happened. She reaches for Sam's hand and tugs him into the kitchen where Dean is still standing in the corner like a zombie. She opens the fridge and pulls an egg out of the carton, she grabs his arm, pulling his sleeve up to the burn.  
"An egg?" He asks, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy.

"Trust me." she cracks it open and starts separating the yolk from the egg whites and once shes finished she pours the whites over his burn.

"I got burned by a hot pan when I was a kid. Pretty sure it was like a third degree burn and all my mom did was put egg whites on it and it was healed within the week." she offers him a smile. Her face was starting to hurt a little and she felt like her nose was half the size of her face.

"Thanks Lila."

She nods, patting his arm. "Please remember that it wasn't you Sam. You didn't do all those bad things."

He works his jaw but offers her a nod.

Dean clears his throat and both of them look over at him.

"Can you give us a second, Sam?"

Sam nods, offering Lila a sweet smile before he leaves them.

She busies herself with cleaning up the egg mess and tries not to look at him.

"Will you look at me?" His voice comes out rougher than he intended it to be.

She sighs, biting her bottom lip as she raises her eyes to meet his. He's standing there an intense look on his face. Lila isn't sure what it is but she knows he wants to say something to her.

"Dean?"

"I'm just trying to find the right way to say this..."

She nods, folding her arms over her chest.

"All I could think of tonight when that thing had that knife to your neck was that I might actually do it - if it meant saving you. I might actually kill him."

Lila feels tears forming in her eyes. "I'm glad you didn't."

He smirks but it doesn't touch his eyes. "I can't explain what it is that I feel when I look at you. Its like this intense need to make sure your safe and this more intense feeling to..."

She nods, knowing where he's going with this. She felt those same things all the time when it came to him. "What are you trying to say?"

"Maybe they were wrong. My dad, your mom, hell maybe even I was wrong Lila. Maybe you and I aren't bad for each other. Maybe we're just what the other needs."

Years of experience taught her that he didn't say things like this. He didn't admit that his father was wrong, he didn't admit that he was wrong. He was completely losing it, or maybe she was.

"I might have a concussion or something because I don't think I'm hearing you right..."

"Don't make me say it out loud." he begs because he knows that if he does say it its all cemented, she's not going anywhere and he won't let her.

"Why should it even matter if you can't even say it out loud Dean?" she runs her hand through her hair. "You can tiptoe around the issue and hint at it but I'm not going to assume that I know what you mean. I can't do it again. I need something solid to hang onto here."

He pauses, his heart feels like it might leap right out of his chest. Could he take that jump?

Could he say it out loud and change everything?

"You two gonna stand here all night or are you gonna help me clean my house up?" Bobby says as he makes his way into the kitchen, he grabs a broom and thrusts it ar Dean's chest. And Lila turns to face the sink, pretending to wash her hands.

Great timing.  
Great fucking timing.

If he could turn back time he would have never left her in that hospital. He would tell his dad to shove it. He would let everything go and look her in her eyes and promise that he was always going to choose her.

No matter what.

But things didn't work like that.

There was no magical fix to this rift between them. And it was getting bigger and scarier and harder.

Her eyes wouldn't meet his over breakfast the next morning. She had made french toast for them and he was surprised by how good it turned out.

She busied herself with helping Sam, it was like she was using his massive brother as a shield between them. And he was too fucking stubborn. It was always his biggest flaw. It was the thing he hated most about himself, especially right then when she offers his brother a sweet smile and pats his arm.

Dean knows that it didn't really mean anything. Lila didn't think of Sam that way and Sam didn't think of Lila that way. But he couldn't help but be a little jealous of the fact that his brother seemed to be the main focus of her attention.

She was giving him the cold shoulder and those words were hanging on the tip of his tongue.

He wants to reach for her he wants to pin her against the wall and kiss her until this ache in his gut goes away.

But, he doesn't.

He gives up trying to talk to her all together until Bobby offers her a car to get back to Del's and her eyes meet his from across the room and everything stops.

 _Tell her to stay._

 _Tell her you love her and you want her to stay._

 _Fucking say it..._

"Thanks Bobby. I probably should get back. I know Del is worried about me by now." she finishes her glass of water and sits it in the sink without so much as a glance towards his direction.

"Are you even going to say something to her?" Sam asks, stepping out onto the front porch with him.

Dean looks over at his brother, he's tired, and not just because he only slept about an hour and a half. "It doesn't matter anymore Sam."

"Don't pull that crap with me."

He sighs. "She doesn't want to hear what I have to say. I ruined my chances with her."

"You really are clueless."

Okay, now he was starting to get mad. "About what?"

"She loves you Dean, she is willing to do anything and everything for you. And your just going to let her walk away, because your too stubborn to tell her how you feel?"

He looks back out at the road, at the old junker that Bobby drove around for her to drive. She's still inside in the shower and all he can think about is why he shouldn't stop her from leaving.

He wants to.

God knows he wants to but maybe its just better if she does.

Maybe its better for them both.

And she was right - it didn't matter if he loved her because he couldn't say it out loud.

Dean Winchester had some issues, okay?

Everyone he's ever allowed himself to care about has hurt him. Every single person.

Those words don't come easy for Dean, they never have and he's pretty sure they never will.

And his dad told him once about a week after he left her in that hospital in Alabama that Lila Dawson deserved a normal, happy life. Absent of all Winchesters.

And he couldn't say he was wrong about that.

As far as he was concerned he would give her the fucking moon if she asked because she deserved it.

She deserved so much more than he could ever give her.

So he had to let her go.

If you love something set it free? Right?

It was gonna hurt like hell.

He knows this as he watches her towel dry her hair in the living room, the news playing idly in the background. He's going back and forth in his head.

 _Tell her._

 _Keep your mouth shut._

 _Stop her._

 _Let her go._

 _No._

 _Yes._

It was starting to give him a headache.

"Do you think that demon will be back?"

He shakes his head, realizing that they somehow found themselves alone again. "Not for a while - I hear its hard to get out of hell..."

Lila nods, combing her fingers through her hair. The swelling around her nose had went down but she now had two really horrible looking black eyes.

"Del's gonna flip out when she sees me." She says, sliding an old baseball cap on her head trying to hide it a little.

She's still the most beautiful women he's ever laid his eyes on.

Say it...

"Lila, I..."

"Don't say anything okay?" she stands up, wiping her hands on the front of her jeans. "There isn't anything else to say."

He nods, swallowing the words, telling himself that it is all for the best.

"I should go..." but she stands there, looking up at him. "Promise me you'll be safe."

"Always."

She nods, seeming satisfied.

"You take care of yourself Lila."

"I always do." she stands on her tip toes to kiss him on her cheek her lips lingering there for a second too long. Every cell inside him screams for him to pull her in closer and kiss her. But he won't do that.

He'll let her go.

Again.

"I'll call and let you know I made it home." she fiddles with the charm necklace Bobby gave her to keep her safe from possession. "I'll see you around?"

He nods. "I'll be around."

And with that she's gone.

He watches her hug Bobby goodbye and thank him for everything. Then she wraps her arms tightly around Sam and holds him for a little while. Then without another glance towards the house she gets into the car and starts it up.

"I love you Lila..." he says to the girl driving down the long driveway towards the road.

No harm and no foul of she can't hear him, right?


	3. What Should Never Be

All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

A/N: This is my version of the episode "What Is And What Should Never Be"

Summary: Everybody I know seems to know me well but they're never gonna know that I move like hell.

Fighting For Nothing  
Chapter Three:  
"What Should Never Be"

He rises up from the bed, breath catching in his throat. First thing he notices is the smell, he isn't in that dank abandoned warehouse anymore.

He's in a room and it smells like vanilla and... weed smoke?

And then he realizes there is a woman next to him, and her body is just covered up by the sheet, her tan leg sticking out from under it. Her long dark hair is hiding most of her face but he would recognize that leg anywhere...

Lila.

 _The fuck?_

He gets out of bed wandering through the strange apartment. He's never been here before, he knows this. And the only thing he can do is call his brother, he grabs his cellphone from his pocket and dials Sam's number. Maybe he knew what the hell was happening to him.

"Dean?" He says sounding more than a little confused and surprised.

"Sam,"

"What's going on?"

"I don't know, I don't know where I am the djinn, it attacked me..."

"The gin? You've been drinking gin?" He chuckles.

"No ass hat, the djinn, the scary creature remember? it put its hand on me and I woke up next to Lila."

Sam scoffs. "Look man just get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" And then he hangs up.

 _Weird._

He glances at the counter, there is a stack of mail there. Dean Winchester 53 Barker Ave. Lawrence, Kansas.

"Lawrence?"

"Dean," she says calls coming down the hallway. She has a silky road on now and a sweet smile on her face.

God she was something to look at.

"Come back to bed." She whimpers, looking up at him with big doe eyes.

"Lila..." He whispers.

She yawns, grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer, "Its three am baby."

He nods. "I'm sorry..."

Lila smirks, the lazy smile on her lips is enough to drive him mad. "Well hurry up, I hate sleeping without you." She presses her lips to his and he's shocked.

This sure as hell feels real. He needs to have these dreams more often.

"Well don't keep me waiting too long." She says with a coy smile, running her finger down his chest.

He nods, feigning a smile.

There are pictures of them all over the apartment. Vacations and dates, some with smiles, some with goofy faces, a couple of them kissing. They had this whole life that he couldn't remember, this whole relationship that actually looked like something normal. But did this have something to do with the djinn?

Then he sees a picture on the fridge of his mother smiling happily, its Christmas time, he can tell from the tree behind her and he has his arm slung around her, both of them have on goofy ass Christmas sweaters and he is a full grown adult.

And his heart leaps right out of his chest.

He isn't even thinking as he's driving.

Its like he knows these roads like the back of his hand.

 _Maybe he does._

Maybe everything before this was the nightmare.

God help him as she answers the door because his heart stops.

Her face is what his dreams are made of. So much more beautiful than he ever remembered her to be.

"Dean?"

"Mom." His voice breaks, because it has been so long since he said that word, and he never thought he would say it again.

"Are you all right?" She asks, reaching for him. He moves away from her hand, unsure if he should trust this yet.

"I don't know." He says with rocks in his throat. He really thinks he is going to bust out crying right there.

She looks so concerned, "Well come inside..." Her blue eyes haven't looked away from him. "Lila called and said you just took off. She's really worried."

"Let me ask you a question," He says turning around and looks at her. "What did you used to tell me when I kid before I went to sleep?"

"Dean, I don't understand..."

"Just answer the question." He snaps.

"I told you that angels were watching over you." She says in an exasperated tone.

Shit.

"I don't believe it..." He whispers pulling her into a hug, so tight she is having trouble breathing. She pulls away and looks at him with a concerned look on her face. Blue eyes scanning over him and she places her hand on his cheek and fuck him if he doesn't care anymore. What ever the hell is wrong here, he didn't care, not after she touched him and he felt real and all the ice melted off his heart and he could breathe right.

Maybe this was real, maybe that djinn, maybe it gave him a wish a wish that his mother never died in that fire, and now this was his life, now this was reality.

Was it really possible though?

"Honey, you're scaring me." She says in a small voice that breaks his heart. She pulls away from him and looks at him, "Now just tell me what's going on."

"You don't think that wishes..." He looks at her, transfixed by this women who he never in a million years thought he would ever see again. She was the one thing missing from his fucked up life and he couldn't stand the thought of hurting her.

"What?" She asks him, looking confused and frightened.

"Forget it," He tells in a teary voice, wrapping his arms around her again, he doesn't think he could ever get tired of hugging her. "I'm just uh, I'm just happy to see you that's all... " He holds her at arms length and smiles at her. "You're beautiful."

She laughs, "What?"

He lets her go, turning around to marvel at the

"Was there ever a fire here when I was a kid?"he asks, looking around at all the pictures. There are dozens of them, lining the walls and tucked on shelves. Smiling Winchester faces.

 _They were a normal happy family._

"No, never." She tells him, her eyes still watching him as he scans over the pictures some more. Its so strange, this house it was almost exactly how he remembered it to be when he was a kid. And that certain feeling washed over him, that contentment that he hasn't felt in so long, like he was home...

"Dad plays on a softball team?" He asks with a chuckle. "Dad's softball team... that's funny to me."

"He loved that stupid team." Her eyes look up at him with tears glistening in them.

It hurts but he should have expected that everything wasn't perfect. How could it be it was his life after all.

Right?

"Dad's dead, and the thing that killed him was?"

"A stroke." She tells him, "He died in his sleep, you know that"

He shook his head. "That's great."

She raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"That's great that he went peacefully, I mean it sure beats the alternative..."

Mary nods, looking at him with a confused look. "You've been drinking?"

He shakes his head. "No, I haven't"

She touches his cheek and he buries his face in her palm. "I'll call Lila, have her come and pick you up."

"No." He says quickly. "Don't do that."

She looks scared of him again, and he's got to chill with the jumpiness he knows this. She looked like she was seconds away from calling the cops on him.

"I wanna stay here, I miss the place. You uh, you just go to sleep."

Mary touches his face, smiling at him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

He nods. "I promise."

She kisses his cheek, and pats his chest before she walks out of the living room. She turns back around and glances at him from around the corner. "I love you."

"You too." He tells her with a nod.

He wakes up and birds are chirping and he rubs the sleep from his eyes. There's a picture of them from Christmas looking at him and its kind of creepy because he honestly expected to wake up in that motel room, probably with a concussion because he had to hit his head pretty fucking hard to be tripping this bad.

He calls Sam again and gets voicemail.

So he takes off down to the local college and meets with a professor who specializes in occult studies and he gives him the 411 on djinns. Apparently Muslims believe that they can grant you one wish.

Apparently that's whats happening here.

Apparently he got a wish.

But when has anything supernatural ever been a good thing?

He opens up the trunk of his car, and all he finds inside is a spare tire and an old maxim magazine.

He chuckles. "Look at us baby, we're civilians."

Dean catches sight of this girl standing across the street, she looks so out of place, and she's staring a hole through him. Her dress is in tatters and its dirty. And his first thought is she's some kind of ghost or something.

And he knows he has to help her...

Honking breaks his trance and he realizes that he's in the middle of the road, and he just barely missed being hit. He waves the truck off and notices that the girl is gone.

Maybe he's having a psychotic break.

He's thinking as he's walking back to his car that he shouldn't be so concerned with trying to find something wrong with this place. Maybe he should embrace that he has this little bit of perfection now. He should be thankful that he's not chasing down demons and dealing with a psychic brother who may or may not be something evil.

Maybe he should just be happy.

His phone starts ringing and he sees Lila's name pop up on the screen he answers it with a smile.

"Your mom called me this morning." She says angrily, at least some things are the same here, Lila Dawson is still mad at him.

"I'm sorry I just took off like that... I had a weird dream."

She scoffs. "Trust me. I'm used to the Dean Winchester freaks out by now. I just hate when you don't call me."

He sighs. "I'm sorry."

"You should be."

He fights the urge to smile, sliding into the front seat of the impala. "Can I make it up to you?"

"You can try for the rest of your life." She laughs. "Your mom is making us lunch, so hurry up and get your ass here."

She's the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Her long dark hair falling in her face as she chats away with his mom. They seem to get along pretty well, like friends even. Its so much more than he could of ever thought to ask for.

And he's half way certain that he has a djinn to thank out there somewhere.

"This is the best sandwich ever."

Mary laughs, "Thanks."

Lila takes a long sip of her tea and smirks. "What's gotten into you?"

"Just a good sandwich." He takes another bite, savoring it.

The two of them exchange looks, and he tries not to think too much into it, in fact he wasn't going to think too much into anything happening any more.

"Where's Sam? I tried to call him earlier."

"Oh." Mary says, getting up from the table to get him more tea. "He'll be here."

Lila takes the last bite of her sandwich and smiles at him. "Well I have to get to work, thank you for lunch Mary." She kisses him on the cheek and touches her arm on the way out.

He looks out the window. Was it just him or was today like the most beautiful day he's ever seen?

"Looks like the yard could use a good mow." He says over his shoulder to her.

"You want to mow the lawn?" Mary asks, looking confused.

"Are you kidding? I would love to mow the lawn."

"Gee," She says laughing. "You would think you never mowed a lawn in your life."

Well...

Fuck it.

He deserved this life.

He deserves the smell of fresh cut grass and neighbors who wave at you from across the street – even if they do kind of look at you like your a nut when you do it. He deserves cold beer and sunshine and happiness.

He's marveling in it, soaking it up and if he could he would bottle this day and keep it forever.

Then a rental car pulls up, and God help him if Jess doesn't get out of it, waving at him.

He rushes out to her, wrapping his arms around her. "Jess! I don't believe it, you and Sam... Its so nice to see you."

"Good to see you too Dean," She says, patting his back and pulling away from him uncomfortably.

Sam clears his throat, eyeing him. "I see you started off mom's birthday with a bang."

He looks up at him brother. "What? Mom's birthday, that's today?"

"Yeah," Sam says, "Why do you think we're here? Please don't tell me you forgot..." And he sounds so disappointed in him, and he doesn't like it one bit...

Okay – so maybe this world wasn't perfect. Sam seemed a little upset with him, no telling what for, but he had Jess and that was beyond anything else he could ask for his brother. Those two deserved to have this happy, normal life more than anyone else.

Lila looks like a million bucks in her dress, tight and black with a red shawl around her shoulders. She smiles at him, sitting next to him at the table in the fancy restaurant they went to to celebrate his mom's birthday. She's sipping on a glass of wine and her dark eyes are looking right through him. "How about after this we get you a cheeseburger?"

He smirks. "Sounds awesome."

She smiles, leaning in to kiss him.

Sam makes a toast to their mom, and she smiles proudly at him. And he just watches them, the happiness swelling inside him. Then Sam holds up Jess' hand and shows off an engagement ring, both of them smiling and laughing.

It was perfection.

Beyond it.

He was so happy he thinks he is going to burst and then...

Ghost girl is back.

Staring at him from across the restaurant.

And he has this overwhelming urge to help her.

He _has_ to help her.

Its the only thing he knows for certain.

And he's across the room before he can even stop himself.

Someone grabs his arm, and its Lila, and she looks afraid, and worried and it breaks his heart. When he looks back at where the girl was standing there is no one there.

And they are all looking at him like he's crazy.

He has to stop, he has to just be happy.

If there is a ghost girl following him then he is just going to ignore her.

He isn't a hunter here.

"We should celebrate." He tells them, after they've said goodnight to their mom and everyone is walking off in their own directions. "I mean the night is young, you're engaged and we both have beautiful girls on our arms."

Sam and Lila's eyes meet and the exchange between them seems _awkward_.

"Will you two give me and my brother a minute?"

Both of them smile and walk into the other room.

He doesn't know why but he feels like he's in trouble.

"What are you doing?"

HE shrugs. "What do you mean Sammy?"

"And since when do you call me Sammy?"

"I'm sorry man..."

He shakes his head. "That's what you said when you stole my ATM card, and my car, and my prom date..."

Okay, now he gets it. He's an ass here, and apparently his brother doesn't like him much.

"I mean the whole thing with Lila is water under the bridge..."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter anymore Dean." he scoffs. "But we're not friends, and we never have been." With that he walks off, leaving him with a bleeding heart.

So that was a fucking curve ball.

Him and Sam weren't friends here. Sammy wasn't his Sammy here.

And he tried not to let that fuck him up so much, but Sam was... Sam was his rock. And he didn't really know how to be himself without his brother.

"Where is your head?" Lila asks, leaning over on the couch closer to him.

"I'm just thinking about Sam."

"Yeah..."

"I just don't get why we don't get along."

She takes a sip of her wine. Apparently, this Lila was a wino. He guessed it beat whiskey. "I just don't think you two know each other very well, and if you ask me its his loss."

He smirks. God she was perfect. Everything he ever wanted, and he couldn't really be mad in a world where she looked at him like that.

"He said something weird, like 'the whole Lila thing is water under the bridge', what the hell does that mean?"

She sighs. "We really can't talk about this..."

"Why?"

Lila takes another long sip of wine. "Besides, you know what happened just as well as I do."

"You were his prom date?"

She nods. "Yeah."

Fuck.

"So you and Sam?"

"It was a million years ago Dean, and besides I'm with you now."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

How the fuck did this ever happen.

"And he seems pretty happy with Jess anyways now..." But her voice sounds bitter and he swears she looks jealous for half a second.

"Yeah he does."

She smiles, leaning in to kiss him. "I love _you_ Dean. I always have."

He can't seem to sleep in this world either – so he watches TV and as he's flipping through the channels he sees a memorial for that flight him and Sam stopped from crashing last year.

And then it all starts crumbling around him.

Every case that they solved, every person that they saved none of it happened here, so they were all dead.

And ghost girl is in his living room looking at him. "Help me." She chokes out before she disappears again. He opens up the hall closet to get his coat and he sees two bodies, strung up, their hands tied above their head, desecrated, rotting and he can fucking smell them.

He's going to be sick.

But he just runs, and he just wants to talk to his dad, but all he has here is a stone with his name on it so he goes there. Sure its kind of silly, but something inside his chest tells him that John Winchester will be able to help him through this.

He pours his fucking heart out to that tombstone. He cries and he screams and he resists the urge to claw up the ground and dig him up.

"I know what you would say, the djinn put you here and he can put you back." He wipes tears from his cheeks. "I know what I have to do."

He knows this is probably crazy, but he has to try. This life was perfect, he had his mom and his girl and Sam had Jess, but so many innocent lives weren't worth his happiness.

And besides, this place felt off from the get go. Its why he never let himself get too comfortable, why he always questioned everything, why he was so on edge. He knew, deep down that none of it was real...

He finds a silver knife in his mom's things and he's heading out of the house when someone grabs his arm. He knows its Sam and he tackles him to the floor, just to see if he can do it easily.

"That was so easy I'm embarrassed for you." He chuckles.

"Dean, what the hell are you doing?"

He helps him up and pats his back. "You really wanna know?"

Sam nods.

"I owe someone money."

Sam sighs, "Some things never change."

"Look Sammy, I'm sorry. Tell mom I love her okay?"

He leaves him standing there and he is starting the car up when the passenger door opens up and Sam slides in. "Look whatever stupid thing you are about to do, I'm not going to let you do it alone."

"Why?"

"Because your still my brother..."

So he's eighty percent sure this isn't real. And the other twenty percent is him not wanting to say goodbye to all the things he didn't have in that other life. His mom, and Jess. Sam had suffered enough losing her. It wasn't fair.

But he knows he can't stay in this world, and besides he couldn't stomach a place where Sam wasn't his best friend.

"What's this?" Sam asks, pulling the lambs blood out of the bad between them.

"You really don't want to know."

"Uh, yes I do Dean."

God. This Sam was even more annoying than the real one and he never thought that would be possible.

"Its blood."

"What?" He asks, sounding scared.

"Lamb's blood. You see thats why I need the silver knife, to kill the djinn."

Sam picks up his phone and starts dialing a number, but Dean snatches it from him and tosses it out the window.

"Come on Dean, I am just trying to help you."

"Sorry Sammy, I'm not going to a padded cell," Not yet at least.

He was going to set this all right.

No matter what it took.

The warehouse is the way he remembers, and its like deja vu as he makes his way through the dark with his brother breathing heavy behind him. He didn't blame him for being scared, in this life he looked like a crazy person.

They don't search long before they find something...

Those same bodies that were strung up in his closet, and the smell... God the smell. Then he sees his ghost girl, but she's not a ghost at all. She's tied up just like those bodies, and she has an iv bag full of blood connected to a tube in her neck.

Shit.

He hears footsteps and the djinn's shadow appears behind a dirty curtain. He pulls Sam out of the way and they hide behind a wall, out of sight.

He watches it in horror as it appraches the girl, and she rustles awake, muttering and crying, asking for her dad. "Where's my dad, please, where's my dad." But the thing doesn't falter, and it's hands light up with that blue lightening and it touches her face, and she's out again. Then it unhooks the iv and squirts her blood into its mouth.

And Sam gives them up, scoffing at the sight he's seeing. He totally forgot he had an amature with him...

He grabs him again and pulls him under a set of old stairs, trying to emphasize with his eyes for him to shut the fuck up.

This wasn't real.

None of it...

The things footsteps clank up the stairs and once he's sure its gone, they come out of hiding.

"What if I'm like her?" He says, spinning around and looking at everything around him. He's been here before or maybe he never left... "What if I'm tied up in here some place, what if this is all in my head?"

"Dean, please, that thing could come back..." Sam reaches for him.

"What if it gives us some supernatural acid and it just feeds on us slowly?"

"You're right. I'm sorry, you're not crazy but that thing could come back and its gonna kill us, for real." He grabs his arm but Dean pulls it away.

"I don't think your real..."

"I'm real!" He pushes his chest, grabbing him and shaking him. "You feel that? Does that feel real?" He's fucking terrified, he can see it in his eyes. But it doesn't really matter.

Dean pulls the knife out of his jacket pocket. "There's one way to find out..."

"What are you doing?"

He sighs. "An old wise tale, if you're about to die in a dream you wake up." He holds the knife out, ready to plunge it right into his gut.

And then Sam's face completely changes. "You had to keep digging, didn't you? You couldn't leave well enough alone."

He blinks and the warehouse falls away, and its peaceful and quiet and there all there looking at him, dissapointed looks on their faces.

"Come on, lets go home." His mom says, stepping forward and touching his face. "You can get some rest Dean."

"If I stay here I'll die."

"But in here it will feel like years, a lifetime."

And fuck that was so much more than he had before.

Jess steps towards him, smiling a sweet smile. "You don't have to worry about Sam anymore, he can have a life and a family."

"Don't do this." Lila says, stepping closer to him, pressing her lips to him. "We can have everything you ever wanted, happiness, peace, family. I love you Dean."

He shakes his head. He wants to stay, he wants to stay with her and have all of those things. Nothing was keeping them apart here, not a damn thing.

But its not real.

He knows this.

And Dean Winchester would rather have his sucky reality than this weird acid trip he was having.

So he plunges the knife into his gut and thrusts himself back into the real world.

"Dean," Sam yells, his hands on his face. "I thought I lost you for a second."

He chuckles. "You almost did."

It was definitely a head fuck.

He was having a hard time adjusting back to reality.

And he really wanted to call her.

"That was the hospital," Sam tells him, hanging up his phone, "The girls been stabilized, she should pull through."

"That's ood." He nods, looking down at his knuckles.

Sam sits on the other bed and looks over at him. "How about you, you alright?"

"Yeah..." he looks over at him. "You should of seen it Sam, our lives. You were such a wussy."

He chuckles, "So we didn't get a long then huh?"

Dean shakes his head. "Not really."

"I thought it was supposed to be this perfect fantasy?"

"It wasn't." He tells him, his stomach is in knots. "It was just a wish, that mom never died, we never went hunting and we just never... you know."

Sam nods. "We'll I'm glad we do." His eyes are all seriousness when he looks up at him, "And I'm glad you dug yourself out Dean, most people wouldn't of had the strength, they would have just stayed."

"Yeah, lucky me." he stands up, needing to move. "I gotta tell you though man, you had Jess, I had Lila, and mom was gonna have grand kids."

"Yeah but Dean, it wasn't real."

"I know." He lets out a breath. "But I wanted to stay, I wanted to stay so bad..." His eyes drift off, and he's not really looking at anything as he speaks. "I mean ever since dad, all I can think about is how much this job costs us. We've lost so much." He looks right at him. "We've sacrificed so much..."

"People are alive because of you." Sam tells him.

He looks down again, always unable to take a compliment.

"Its worth it Dean. Yeah, its not fair. Yeah it hurts like hell, but its worth it."

His eyes finally meet his brothers.

"And there is something that you can still have, someone who still exists outside of that dream." He hands Dean his phone, "Call her man. Tell her how you feel. Please."

He takes the phone in his hands, staring at it for a long while.

And then he dials her number.


	4. Clarity

All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

A/N: I sincerely apologize for how long this chapter has taken. I had the flu - and spent the week thinking I was going to die. Then I moved so I am just now getting a chance to catch my breath - and of course post you guys a new chapter. Thanks a billion for reading, I love you guys! :)

Summary: Nothing is ever easy...

Fighting For Nothing  
Chapter Four:  
"Clarity"

Lila was well past drunk.  
Whiskey and heart break just went so well together and falling back into old habits was the easiest solution to the rift in her chest. She would try and try to fill it up with something bigger and better but the more drunk she got and the further away from that day she got, Lila realized that there was nothing in this world that could replace Dean Winchester.  
And his name, God, his name had become a lullaby, a mantra that she recites to herself again and again.  
A prayer of sorts to get her through the day.  
Before she tried not to even think of the name but now it was like a drug to her.  
She scribbled it on the corner of her notepad as she took customers orders. She sang it, she breathed it.  
And it helped.  
Most days...  
He couldn't say it out loud so it wasn't real. None of it. Not those months they spent together after her mom died, not anything that happened afterwards.  
And Lila Dawson learned a long time ago that you shouldn't believe in things you can't touch.  
She needed something concrete to rest her head on.  
But Dean Winchester was the fucking wind.  
And he would always be fleeting.  
And yes, one day Lila might meet someone who makes her forget all about him, she doubted this most days, but she had seen stranger things happen.  
The bar she's in is noisy, not her usual spot. A few friends from work, the new waitress Rachel and her girlfriends had talked her into coming out with them.  
But all they had to say was drinks and she was in.  
Her short jean skirt and black tank top paled in comparison to their outfits. Glitter and sequins and we won't even talk about the shoes...  
But she was content to stand at the bar and make friends with the bartender and pour whiskey on the fire in her chest.  
 _Feed the beast._  
And she's watching two of Rachel's friends start to make out in front of a guy who looks like he hit his peak in high school when her phone rings.  
She almost doesn't answer it.  
Mostly because she is sure it's Del and she really is too drunk for the third degree right now.  
But that's not the name that slides across the screen.  
 _Dean Winchester._  
Her heart leaps into her throat and suddenly she is stone cold sober.  
It had to be a mistake, she's thinking as she tosses a wad of cash at the bartender and makes her way through the crowd, still staring at the name in disbelief.  
"Do you want you change?" he calls but Lila waves him off, already halfway to the door.  
She answers it and her hands are shaking so bad she almost drops her phone.  
"Hello?"  
"Lila..."  
Why was it that her name only sounded special when he said it?  
"What's up?" she asks, pacing back and forth in front of the bar.  
"I had this really weird dream..."  
"I can't really hear you Dean, is everything okay?" she turns away from the entrance of the bar, holding one hand over her other ear to drown out the noise. "Dean?"  
"I miss you Lila."  
She lets out a long breath, she feels like she might just fall right over. "Are you drunk?" she asks, because it was really the only logical explanation.  
He chuckles. "No."  
"You can't just call me like this Dean, you can't just say you miss me and nothing else."  
"I have plenty to say to you. I just wanna say it face to face so I can see your expression."  
She fights the smile creeping on her lips. "Well don't change your mind on your way here."  
"Never again." he breathes. "Everything is gonna be different now, I promise."  
"What suddenly changed?"  
"I did."

She doesn't sleep.  
She watches the sun come up with her knees tucked under her chin and Janis Joplin playing on the radio. She thinks that she's dreaming so she has it stuck in her head that if she does fall asleep everything might be different when she opens her eyes again.  
So she drinks two pots of coffee and she waits.  
And she would wait a hundred more years if she had to.  
Someone knocks at her door, just as her eyes are starting to get heavy and she leaps off the couch. She wishes she would had at least showered because she smells like alcohol and sweat.  
But she opens the door and he's standing there and nothing else really matters.  
He looks right into her eyes and in that moment she knows that something is wrong.  
"Dean?"  
He nods. "Its Sam."  
 _Of course it is._  
"What?"  
"We stopped to get food, and I sat in the car. The radio station turned to static and all the lights in the diner started flickering. I was too late... I shouldn't have let him go alone."  
"Its gonna be okay." she whispers tugging him inside by the sleeve of his jacket.  
Dean wraps his arms around her, before she can even shut her door all the way. He buries his face in her neck and she can feel tears on her skin.  
"We're gonna find him Dean, I promise."

There was so much to say - and they could feel it growing between them as they made their way to Bobby's.  
So many words unsaid.  
But it had to wait for now.  
Something more important was happening.  
Lila was on the phone with Del, explaining that she wouldn't be there for her shift tomorrow. And Dean can hear her cussing on the other end. Lila rolls her eyes at the sound but he was honestly a little scared of her.  
"I promise I'll call you. Please don't worry about me. I'm fine."  
"You're always fine. Even when you have two black eyes..."  
"I'm hanging up now Del." she snaps her phone closed and looks out at the road.  
"Is she mad?"  
"Oh no," Lila tells him. "Delphine Larue doesn't get mad, she gets livid."  
He smirks but the gesture doesn't touch his eyes. Lila reaches for his hand, threading her fingers with his.  
"I'm sorry, I know you probably thought this would go a little different..." he says glancing down at their hands.  
"We don't have to talk about any of that right now. Just know I'm here."  
He nods, squeezing her hand a little. "It all just happened so fast."  
"You have to stop blaming yourself okay? Everything bad that happens is not your fault."  
He shakes his head. "I haven't told you everything about this whole thing with Sam..."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Dad, before he died he told me that Sam might turn evil. He said that if I couldn't stop him I would have to kill him."  
Lila falls silent. Her heart feels heavy in her chest. "So you've been just carrying this around with you all this time?"  
Dean works his jaw.  
"Damn John Winchester." she says through clenched teeth. "He's an ass for putting that on you. He always expected too much from you. It wasn't fair."  
"What if he was right? What if this is it and my brother went darkside on me and I couldn't stop it from happening..."  
Lila shakes her head, and if he wasn't driving she would of slapped him right there. "You don't even see it do you Dean? You can't see it and its right in front of you, staring back at you when you look in the mirror." she squeezes his fingers. "In a world of darkness your the goddamned sun. You're the best person I know. You always do the right thing even if it puts you at risk..."  
He looks over at her, his eyes are locked on hers but they are somewhere far away.  
"Sam would tell you the same thing if he were here." Lila breathes out a painful breath. "We're gonna find him. I promise."

"This is a bad fucking idea." Dean says eyeing Bobby and not meeting her eyes.  
"Why?"  
"Because you're not a witch."  
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah but I can do a location spell. Its easy."  
"And how the hell do you know how to do that?"  
"Did you ever meet my mother Dean?"  
He scrubs his hand down his face.  
Lila looks to Bobby. "Can you get the stuff I need?"  
He nods, looking up at Dean.  
He sighs. "Humor her."  
"I can..." he says, "might take some time."  
"How much time?"  
"Day or two, I can't exactly crap this stuff out for you." he says holding up her list.  
She nods. "Okay. Plan B then."  
"Plan B?" Dean asks. "You mean you have another bright idea?"  
She nods with a smirk. "I'm full of bright ideas Winchester."  
He sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, lay it on me."  
"I can try to make myself have a vision..."  
"A vision?" Bobby asks looking at her with a tilt to his head. "You're psychic?"  
"Sometimes."  
"Its still happening?"  
Lila nods. "It happened when that demon had me, that's how I knew it wasn't Sam. But other than that... I haven't had one since that werewolf."  
"Okay. Well what makes you think you can have one now?"  
She shrugs. "I don't know I've never tried to actually have one they just sort of surprise me."  
"Just try concentrating on Sam," Bobby tells her.  
She nods, turning away from them and rubbing her temples.  
People don't just disappear, Sam had to be somewhere out there. She just had to hone in on him.  
"Is it working?" Dean pipes up from behind her.  
She gives him the death glare and he falters.  
"What if this doesn't work?" she whispers, looking down at her hands.  
"If you've had a vision before, you can have one again." Bobby says. "But in the mean time we will keep looking for signs of demons and leave you to concentrate on your _visions_..." he pats Dean's arm and they walk out of the kitchen. Leaving her to her thoughts.  
 _Come on, Lila._  
She tells herself, sitting down at the table.  
 _The one fucking time you actually need to have a vision and you come up short... What good was having these_ _types of powers if it didn't help when you needed it to most..._  
Lila rests her head for a moment in her hand.  
She realizes for a moment that she hasn't slept in almost 48 hours.  
And she doesn't really see the harm in resting her eyes for a moment.

She's standing in mud up to her calves and she feels like she actually sinking further into it the more she struggles to get free. Its up to her hips when she finally sees Sam, he's standing there talking to a man she's never seen before. They're in some kind of town and it vaguely reminds of her of something out of the wild west.  
Its so weird.  
Then they start fighting.  
The man punches Sam so hard he goes flying backwards into a field.  
By this point she's sunk into the mud pit up to her chest and she's fighting to pull her hands up.  
She tries to scream but nothing comes out and she slips further into the mud until there is nothing left of her there.  
Lila opens her eyes gasping for air as if she can really suffocating in that mud.  
She coughs up a brown stain into her hand.  
Dean is there in the next second touching her back while she coughs, his face looks alarmed when he notices the brown in her hands and she jumps up from the table and turns on the sink rinsing her mouth out.  
"I don't know what the fuck just happened." she breathes, spitting water into the sink.  
"Did you see him."  
Lila nods, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "He was fighting this guy, I never seen him before, he had like super strength or something. It was..."  
She rests against the counter when a sharp pain rips through her head, she is still picturing that place, the cold feel of it. How it just seemed like a place that had seen some bad things. And how quick and easy that guy took Sam down.  
"What else did you see?" Bobby asks, "anything that stuck out?"  
"You mean besides the guy with super strength?"  
Both of them glare at her.  
"Sorry," she rubs her temples. "It was like this ghost town, it honestly creeped me the hell out. There was tis big bell..."  
"What kind of bell?" Bobby asks her suddenly.  
"Like a big bell with some kind of engraving on it, I don't know..." her head is poundong so hard, she feels like she might pass out.  
"Engraving?"  
"Yeah." Dean rubs his hand down her back softly and the pain subsides a little.  
"Was it a tree? Like, an oak tree?"  
"Yeah, exactly."  
"I know where Sam is..."


	5. Last Resort

All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

Summary: Cut my life into pieces...

Fighting For Nothing  
Chapter Five:  
"Last Resort"

"Cold Oak, South Dakota. A town so haunted, every single resident fled. Sounds like a nice vacation spot." Dean says as he shuts the trunk of the Impala.

Lila reaches for his hand. "We found him."

He nods, squeezing her fingers. "No. You did."

"I didn't help at all or anything..." Bobby says laying a map out on the trunk.

Lila smirks at him. "Thanks Bobby. We couldn't have figured it out without you."

"Bout damn time I got some recognition 'round here."

"What do we got?" Dean asks, eyeing him.

"Its about an hour drive, not sure what we will find when we get there."

"What do you mean?" Dean asks.

"Its been a long time since anyone has been there no telling what condition the roads are in."

Lila laces her fingers with Dean's trying to comfort him, but she knew he was well past being coddled. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it..."

Bobby nods, folding the map back up and tucking it under his arm. "I'll lock up and we can go."

She turns to Dean the moment Bobby's back is to them, she takes his face between her hands and kisses him. Not for any other reason than because she needed to. His hand finds her waist and pulls her in closer, but she knows that this isn't the time or place for them to be doing this.

"Promise me," he breathes, pulling away from her slightly. "Whatever happens you won't leave me." He dips his forehead to hers.

"I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

It was just starting to get dark when they made it to Cold Oak. An eerie feeling crept over them as they tunred onto the dirt road leading into the town. Lila's had tightened around her shotgun as the Impala inched forward into the woods, and it seemed as if the darkness crept slowly around them until it was completely dark.

Then suddenly Dean cut the engine and it was even darker.

One thing she might never admit outloud, not even to Dean was that she had always been afraid of the dark.

"Roads washed out," He said from the front seat. "We have to go on foot from here."

Bobby turned a flashlight on and the knot in her chest loosened.

Dean's door creaks open and she follows suit, grabbing her shotgun and stepping out into the mud. Dean catches her arm as she waivers, keeping her from falling.

"Maybe you should stay here."

She rolls her eyes. "Please don't start this crap Dean, besides you made me promise not to leave you."

He smirks. "I knew that was going to come back to bite me in the ass."

A sharp pain shoot through her head and she doubles over, her shotgun goes tumbling into the mud and Dean catches her just in time before she does the same.

And everything is echoing, Dean's voice calling her name, yelling for Bobby to help, and Sam.

" _Sam!" Dean yells._

" _Dean!"_

 _And then that man from her vision, that soldier with the super strength, plunges a knife into his back._

 _And then she hears the screaming._

She opens her eyes, shaking and sweating, realizing that the screaming was her own.

"What happened?" Dean asks, smoothing her hair out of her face. "What did you see?"

Lila swallows the lump in her throat. She tells herself that just because she saw it in her vision doesn't mean that it will come to light. The future can always ben changed...

"We have to hurry." She squeezes Dean's hand and tries to stand up but her knees are still shaking.

"You can barely stand..."

"I'm fine." She reaches for her gun and stands up straigt. Lila Dawson was not weak – she never had been. And even though everything was still spinning she had to stop her vision from happening.

It seems like they walk forever, and just when they think that they can't walk anymore they come to a clearing. It starts to rain and Lila steps out ahead of them, trying to see if she can see Sam. The rain makes it hard to see anything...

They walk further, and Dean breaks away from them, flashlight out in front of him as if he thinks it will protect him.

"Sam!" He yells.

Lila sees him then, he's holding his arm as if he's hurt and he staggers towards them. "Dean!" He yells in relief.

And she really thinks for half a second that everything might be okay...

But when have they ever gotten a happy ending?

"Sam, look out!" Dean yells, sprinting off towards them.

 _Too late._

Super Soldier stabs the knife right through Sam's back. Dean takes off running for them.

"Noooo!" He yells, his voice cracking with pain.

He twists the knife, creating a massive wound, before running away. Sam, gasping, falls to his knees. While Bobby chases after the guy, Dean slides to the ground in front of Sam. He grabs at Sam's clothing, trying to keep him conscious.

Lila, frozen in shock and fear and self loathing sinks into the mud at her feet, wishing it would swallow her up like it did in her vision.

"No, Sam..." Dean almost whispers, looking at his little brother with tear filled eyes.

Sam's head falls forward onto Dean's shoulder.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Sam. Sam! Hey! Hey, hey. Come here. Let me look at you." He places his hand on the wound on Sam's back, covering his entire palm in blood.

"Hey, look at me. It's not even that bad. It's not even that bad, all right? Sammy? Sam!" Sam's head starts wobbling. "Hey, listen to me." Dean says desperately, the tears in his voice make her heart hurt. "We're gonna patch you up, okay? You'll be good as new. Huh? I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna take you care of you. I've got you. That's my job, right? Watch out for my pain-in-the-ass little brother?" Dean touches his brother's face. "Sam? Sam! Sam! Sammy!"

Sam's eyes slide shut, and his entire body goes limp, falling against his brother.

"No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, God. Oh, God." With tears streaming down his face, he rocks his brother in his arms as he dies.

Lila raises up off the ground then, unable to watch it anymore, and she pukes into the mud. Last time she watched someone die, she promised herself she would never do it again, at least not someone she loved.

Not Sam, not him. He didn't deserve to go out this way.

"Sam!" Dean screams into the rain and the darkness.

They moved him into a cabin, Dean wouldn't let anyone help him carry him. He cradled him like he was a baby and sit him down on the old mattress. Lila stuck back in the corner, watching with a lump in her throat.

All she was thinking was how was he ever going to move on from this?

How could Dean Winchester ever get over losing his brother? The one person he truly loved in this world.

And she was balming herself, because she saw this happen, she could have done something to stop it. She just feels like the walls are closing in on her and she can't fucking breathe in the small room with Sam's dead body and Dean who just seems to be in some kind of trance.

"I have to get some air." But he doesn't even acknowledge her, he's just staring at Sam's body with a blank stare.

Denial.

He did not want to believe that what he was seeing was real, his brother wasn't dead, his life wasn't crumbling around him.

She was thinking those same thoughts as she made her way out into the stale air. The smell of stagnate water was almost choking her.

This town didn't seem so haunted to her, it just seemed sad, lonely and cold.

And she had never wanted to leave a place so badly.

Bobby had left not long after they brought Sam inside out of the rain. Once the sun came up he said he was going to find a way to get a car to them. What he didn't say was so they couldn't have to carry Sam's body through the woods, he didn't say it because Dean hadn't spoken a word and both of them knew that mentionig the elephant in the room might set him off.

He was never going to be the same, she knew this with her whole heart. But she promised him that no matter what happened that she wouldn't leave and she meant it, she meant it with everything inside her.

She falls asleep with her head in her hands at the kitchen table because she is fucking tired and she hasn't really slept in days. Waking up only when Bobby comes in the door and the smell of chicken fills the room. Then she realizes she is starving.

"I brought yall food." He says, sitting the bucket down in front of her. He also sits a bag down filled with waters and soda.

"No booze?"

He eyes her, but hands her the flask from his jacket. "Has he whispers even moved?" He, looking towards the room.

She shrugs, looking into the bucket of chicken and losing her apetite. She takes another swig from the flask and hands it back. "I fell asleep, I'm not even sure how long I was out."

"About six hours," Dean says suddenly, appearing in the doorway.

"I brought you some grub." Bobby says is a soft voice.

"I'm fine,"

"You should try and eat something."

"I said I'm fine." He snaps, taking a swig from a flask.

Lila stnads up from the chair and takes a deep breath. It was pretty much now or never. "Dean... I hate to bring this up. But don't you think maybe it's time... we bury Sam?"

"No." He deadpans her, looking away.

"We could..." He sighs, searching for the words. "maybe..."

"What?" He asks calmly, too calmly. "Torch his corpse? Not yet."

"I want you to come with me." Bobby tells him, sounding more afraid than she has ever heard him sound before.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Dean, please."

"Would you cut me some slack?" He says, almost begging.

Lila steps towards him, why did she feel as if she was approaching a wounded animal? "We're just trying to help you..."

Dean snorts, and she can't help but get a little anfry from the look he is giving her.

"Something big is going down – end-of-the world big."

"Well, then let it end." He yells, making her take a step back.

Anger.

"You don't mean that." Bobby says, sounded wounded himself.

Dean closes the distance between them, getting into Bobby's face. "You don't think so? Huh? You don't think I've given enough? You don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it. All of it. And if you know what's good for you, you'd turn around, and get the hell out of here."

Bobby stands there, shaking his head.

Dean shoves Bobby suddenly, "Go!" He yells and Lila gasps, pulling Dean away from him, and gets thrown into the table in the tousle. He stops suddenly, and his entire body seems to drain of energy. He turns to her with a contrite expression. "I'm sorry." Then he looks at Bobby. "Please just go, and take her with you."

Her heart sinks in her chest.

Bobby looks at her, sighing "Let's go Lila."

"No matter what huh?" She shoves him this time, anger boiling voer inside herself. How could he always just push her away so easily? "You made me promise you that I wouldn't leave you."

"You shouldn't be here." He says, "I'm no good to be around right now."

"I can't do you the way you did me..."

His eyes fill with tears, looking at her hurt him so much. She was the girl that he loved, but right now all he wanted to do was put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger and he didn't want her around to see it.

"I will frag you out of here myself." He says, looking at her with hard eyes.

She squares her jaw and looks up at him. "Do it then."

Bobby clears his throat, touching Lila's arm softly. "Let's go."

She looks back at him, and in that moment she hated him. Hated that she wasn't enough and that she never would be. "Fuck you Dean Winchester."

He looks down at the floor.

"You're a fucking coward." She knocks over a few chairs on her way out just because she's pissed and she wants to fucking destroy something.

"You know where we'll be." He turns his back on Dean and leaves the room. Dean swallows hard, and looks at Sam's body; a tear falls from his eye.

"You know, when we were little— and you couldn't been more than five— you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, _Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know_." Dean wipes the tears from his eyes. "I just wanted you to be a kid... Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job...  
And I screwed it up." His voice cracks "I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry. He wipes tears from his face again.  
"I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. I let Lila down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too." He shakes his head, tears streaming down is face unontrollably. "How can I? How am I supposed to live with that?" He looks down at his hands, and he thinks about that gun tucked in his jacket pocket and he thinking about how easy it would be to just die with his brother. What a poetic way to go out...  
Dean's sobbing, looking at his baby brother. "What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God. What am I supposed to do?" He inhales sharply. "What am I supposed to do?" He yells, angry and pissed and just fucking sad. Because it has really come down to this...

And all he knows is he can't put a bullet in his own head, he isn't a coward, not like that.

So he jumps up, knocking over the chair he was sitting in and he takes off, running towards his car as fast as he can.

He had a plan, a plan that was going to fix everything...

Lila tilts a fifth of whiskey up and lets the warm liquid lide down her throat. She gulps until she can't feel her throat. Someone, Del, knocks on the stall door and yells her name.

"Lila Jane Dawson I know you're in there!"

Fuck. She screws the lid back on the bottle and tucks it into her back pocket. "I'm on my period..."

"Try again little girl."

Lila unlocks the door and Del pushes her way in.

"You let that stupid boy get in your head again."

She shakes her head. "He never left it."

"Dear lord you're wasted. How the hell do you expect me to let you work like this?"  
"I'm drunk here all the time."

Del sighs. "Would you look at yourself honey?"

She shakes her head, "If you're not letting me work then i'm leaving. I don't need a fucking lecture right now Del, not after everything that happened."

Her face softens. "You know I am sorry about Sam, but people die everyday my dear, you of all people..."

"I can't talk about this." She snaps, stepping back away from her. "I can't fucking deal."

"Take the week off, get it out of your system and be back here monday."

Lila nods and pushes past her. She knows Del is just trying to help her, but she doesn't want any help. She wants to drink herself into an oblivion.

She tosses her apron over the counter and makes her way out of the bar, knocking into someone on her way out. She can't really explain it but she's overcome with the sudden feeling that something bad is about to happen...

She thinks as she starts her car up and pulls out of the gravel parking lot that nothing else worse could happen.


	6. Wreck Me

All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

Summary: For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed my way

Fighting For Nothing  
Chapter Six:  
"Wreck Me"

Dean drives recklessly down the dark road, looking pale and determined. He stops abruptly on a dirt road and puts several items into a box, including a fake photo ID of himself. He buries the box in the middle of a crossroads and stands. Several seconds pass in silence, as he looks right and left, waiting.

"Oh come on already. Show your face, you bitch!" He yells into the darkness.

Suddenly, a beautiful woman in a black dress appears.

"Easy sugar, you'll wake the neighbors." She flashes red eyes for a moment. "Dean. It is so, _so_ good to see you." She inhales sharply, circling around him. "I mean it. Look at you. Gone and got your family killed. Pushed away all the people you had left and now you're all alone in the world. It's too sweet. Excuse me, you're gonna have to give me a moment." She walks to Dean, face to face, standing closer than he would like her to be... "Sometimes you gotta stop and smell the roses."

"I should send you straight back to hell." He says with malice.

"Oh, you should. But you won't. And I know why."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." She smirks. "Following in Daddy's footsteps. You wanna make a deal. Little Sammy back from the dead, and—let me guess— you're offering up your own soul?"

"There are a hundred other demons who'd love to get their hands on it. And it's all yours. All you got to do is bring Sam back. And give me ten years— ten years, and then you come for me."

"You must be joking." She chuckles, obviously amused.

"That's the same deal you give everybody else."

"You're not everybody else." She leans in close to him and whipers in his ear. "Why would I want to give you anything? Keep your gutter soul. It's too tarnished, anyway."

He nods. "Nine years."

"No." She deadpans.

"Eight." Dean says, feeling so desperate at this point.

She laughs. "You keep going, I'll keep saying no."

"Okay, five years. Five years, and my bill comes due. That's my last offer— five years or no deal."

She leans in as if to kiss him and then pulls away with an evil smirk. "Then no deal."

"Fine."

"Fine." She starts walking away, "Make sure you bury Sam before he starts stinking up the joint."

Dean flinches, physcially and mentally. "Wait." He says through clenched teeth.

"It's a fire sale, and everything must go." She says softly.

"What do I have to do?" He exhales.

"First of all, quit groveling. Needy guys are such a turnoff." She sighs, "Look... Look, I shouldn't be doing this. I could get in a lot of trouble. But what can I say? I got a blind spot for you, Dean. You're like a... puppy. You're just too fun to play with." She sighs again, being way too dramatic with it. "I'll do it."

"You'll bring him back?" He asks because at this point it is all that matters.

"I will. And because I'm such a saint, I'll give you one year, and one year only. But here's the thing. If you try and welch or weasel your way out, then the deal is off. Sam drops dead. He's back to rotten meat in no time. So... It's a better deal than your dad ever got. What do you say?"

He doesn't take but a second to think it over before he grabs the demon and kisses her to seal the deal.

What else is there to even think about...

…

She doesn't so much as hear the explosion than she feels it. She wakes up from a deep sleep, a sharp pain shooting through her entire body, a sudden wave of nasua and a pain in her chest.

Lila is throwing up in her bathroom sink when she hears her phone ringing.

She doesn't get to it in time, it goes to voicemail, but she doesn't care. She really feels like she might die and then...

She smells the smoke.

One peak out her window and she sees the cloud of smoke, the fire and the ashes. Del's bar... Del.

Oh no.

Her first instinct is to run, because she knows that whatever and whoever blew Del's place up was probably coming after her. And thats how she knows that Dean Winchester is dead, and him and his baby brother are rotting in some cabin in a haunted town in South Dakota, and now all the evil things that were gunning for them are coming after her.

Lila packs herself a bag quicker than she ever has before, she doesnt even put her shoes on, she drives halfway to Bobby's before she realizes it too. Luckily she threw a pair of boots in her bag, at least she thanks so...

Is this what shock feels like?

Or was this a panic attack because she really felt like she was having a heart attack and Del...

Del was gone now.

Dean and Sam were gone now and she was really all alone?

How fucking fair was that?

Her hands are shaking around the wheel and she knows she is driving like a maniac down the highway but she didn't care, the cops were really the least of her worries right now.

Lila decides that she shouldn't pull right into his driveway, after everything, what she finds here might not be Bobby, he could be gone too and that thought hurt her more than she expected it to. Bobby's house had become a comfort to her by now, even though she had only visited it twice before. He was like the surliest sweetheart she had ever met and she is almost in tears as she sneaks through his junkyard, still barefoot by the way, thinking of the possibility that everyone is really gone when she hears his voice...

Dean Winchester.

He's not dead.

Thank God.

She knocks over an old grill of a car on her way to him, where he stood with Bobby in a hushed conversation, and she's thinking as she throws her arms around him that she doesn't even care if they are demons as they both embrace her.

"Lila." Dean breathes her name out like a prayer.

"I thought you were dead." She whispers,

"We could say the same thing for you, I got a call over the CB radio about Del's..." Bobby says, he steps away from them.

"I got sent home..." She shakes her head, feeling weak again. "I... do you think Del was there?"

Neither of them speak.

Lila nods. It would hit her later, but right now her adrenaline was pumping through her veins. She looks up at Dean. "I thought you were going to do something stupid..."

Bobby scoffs and Dean eyes him with one of those infamous Dean Winchester if looks could kill looks.

"What's going on?"

He touches both of her arms and looks at Bobby, softer this time. "Can you give us a minute?"

Bobby nods, making his way towards the house.

"Dean?"

He sighs. "Sam's alive..."

"What? How... what the hell did you do?" But she already knows the answer.

"I made a deal."

Her knees give out on her and he has to keep her upright. "A deal?" A single tear slides down her cheek. "How could you do that Dean? I mean after everything, after your dad... I... You don't deserve this."

He shakes his head, resting his forehead on hers. "Stop okay."

"Its not enough time. Ten years? I can't. We can't. Did you even think about me for one damned second?"

"Lila..."

She steps away from him. "You don't think I get it? You don't think I thought about it a hundred times to bring my mom back?" Her voice breaks.

"He didn't deserve to die."

"And you do?" She wants to yell, but she has no strength.

Dean shakes his head. "Its my job to protect him, it always has been."

She wipes a tear from her cheek. "I can't lose you, Dean. You're all I have left now."

He sighs. "I'm sorry."

"Promise me..." Her voice cracks when her fingers touch his. "Promise me that your mine, for those ten years. I get you, all of you. Promise me, and you don't get to back out because your scared or something goes wrong because you fucking owe me."

He smirks. "Lila, I..."

"Just promise me Dean."

He steps closer, catching her cheek and pulling her into a kiss. "I promise."

She wraps her arms around his neck and deepens the kiss. She knows that this is probably just the beginning of another big mess but, she doesn't care. She fucking needs him.

She needs him to breathe.

"Lila?" He asks, softly.

"Hmm?"

"Why aren't you wearing any shoes?"

…

She throws her arms around Sam, hugging him tightly.

"I'm glad you're okay." She whispers.

Dean sits back in the corner, looking at them. He felt like a complete ass for letting Lila believe he got ten years in his deal. He was also an ass for not telling Sam about said deal. And he was an ass, just cause...

He scrubs his hand through his hair and takes a gander at the map that Bobby has spread out over his table, something to distract him from the knawing feeling inside his gut. Bobby's eyes land on him hard and he shakes his head. He was not in the mood for his dissapointment.

Lila touches his back, and how is it that such a simple gesture can set him right?

You know what he really wants to do is take her upstairs and...

"Whats this?" She asks, looking at the map herself, her dark eyes seem far off.

"Lila, why are you barefoot?" Sam asks her with a chuckle.

"Long story." She says, waving him off and focusing back on the map. "I've seen this before..."

"You have?" Bobby asks her, suddenly interested.

She nods, picking up a sharpie from the table, and she draws dots on the map, purely out of instinct, even though they seem kind of random. "Demons." She breathes, looking up at them with far away eyes.

"How did..." Sam asks.

"I don't know." Lila whispers, not looking up from the map.

Bobby doesn't say a word as he walks off in a hurry towards one of this bookshelves.

Dean goes to Lila, touching her hand on the table.

He comes back with a huge book that looks old as hell. Dean watches him flip frantically through the pages, skimming over the words so quickly it seemed inhuman.

"I don't believe it." He whispers, half to himself.

"What? You got something?" Sam asks, going over to look over Bobby's shoulder.

"A lot more than that. Each of these X's" He points to the marks on the map Is an abandoned frontier church— all mid-19th century. And all of them built by Samuel Colt."

"Samuel Colt— the demon-killing, gunmaking Samuel Colt?"

"Yep. And there's more. He built private railway lines." He connects the x's and it comes out to look like a devil's trap. "Connecting church to church."

"Tell me that's not what I think it is." Dean asks, looking so impressed.

"It's a Devil's Trap. A 100-square mile Devil's Trap." Sam says, sounding impressed.

"That's brilliant. Iron lines demons can't cross."

"I've never heard of anything that massive." Lila says, finally joining them back in reality.

"No one has." Bobby says, looking up at her.

"And after all these years none of the lines are broken? I mean, it still works?" Lila asks looking at them with worried eyes.

"Definitely" Sam says.

"How do you know?" Dean chimes in.

"All those omens Bobby found. I mean the demons, they must be circling and they can't get in."

"Yeah, well... they're trying." Bobby says crudely.

"Why? What's inside?" Lila asks.

"That's what I've been looking for." Dean begins, clearing his throat. "And, uh, there's nothing except an old cowboy cemetery right in the middle." He says pointing at the dead center of the map.

"Well what's so important about a cemetery or... what's Colt trying to protect?" Sam asks them.

"Well, unless ..." Dean says, light bulb going off over his head.

"Unless what?" Bobby asks.

"What if Colt wasn't trying to keep the demons out? What if he was trying to keep something in?"

"Now that's a comforting thought." Lila says, running her hand through her hair nervously.

"Yeah, you think?" Dean smirks at her but it doesn't touch his eyes.

"Could they do it, Bobby? Could they get inside?" Sam asks, sounding like a kid.

"This thing's so powerful, you'd practically need an A-bomb to destroy it. No way a full-blood demon gets across."

Sam's face goes white. "No... But I know who could."

…

They drive in silence, not even the radio is on. They all knew that this could be it, and you could just feel it in the air around them. What ever happened was going to be big.

Lila reaches over for his hand when he parks the car, twining their fingers together. "I know now is not the time, but..."

He pulls her in and kisses her hard on the mouth.

"That's not what I meant."

Dean inches away from her.

"I just feel like there is something left unsaid between us..."

"Like what?"

Some one knocks on the window, and Sam is standing out there looking at them with a dissaproving look. So whatever it is it will just have to wait.

"Nothing." She says, "Just be careful." Lila kisses him once more for good measure.

They all creep into the cemetary, hiding with their guns drawn, ready, waiting.

She doesn't even think she is breathing.

And then, Super Soldier comes out of no where, holding the colt in his hand and walking towards a large tomb with haste.

"Howdy, Jake." Sam says, appearing behind me.

That's their cue. They all appear from the shadows, guns raised.

"Wait..." Jake says, looking at Sam with confused, wide eyes. "You were dead. I killed you."

"Yeah?" He says, unflinching. "Well next time, finish the job."

"I did! I cut clean through your spinal cord, man." Sam glances at Dean, who lowers his eyes briefly. "You can't be alive. You can't be." Jake says, shaking his head.

"Okay," Bobby says, stepping in. "Just take it real easy there, son."

"And if I don't?"

"Wait and see." Sam tells him, gun pointed right at him.

"What, you a tough guy all of a sudden? What are you gonna do— kill me?" He chuckles.

Sam shrugs. "It's a thought."

"You had your chance. You couldn't." He says eyeing Sam.

"I won't make that mistake twice."

Jake begins to laugh a menacing laugh and looks at Lila with an evil smirk.

"What are you smiling at, you little bitch?"

"Hey honey, do me a favor. Put that gun to your head."

Lila shakily points her gun at her temple, looking to Dean for help.

"See that Ava girl was right. Once you give in to it, there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn." Jake tells Sam, with wide eyes.

"Let her go." Sam hisses.

"Shoot him." Lila tells them in a shaky voice.

"You'll be mopping up skull before you get a shot off... Everybody, put your guns down. Except you, sweetheart." He winks at Lila.  
Three guns drop without a moment of hesitation.

"Okay. Thank you." Jake says, leased. Then he turns around and pulls the Colt out of his pocket. While he is inserting it into the crypt, Dean and Bobby grab Lila before she can shoot herself and in the next breath Sam shoots Jake four times in the back. He falls onto the ground, and Sam walks to stand over him.

"Please... don't. Please." Jake gasps, looking up at Sam.

Sam shoots him three more times in the chest. Blood spatters onto his face. Lila and Bobby walk past Sam, with Bobby stares at him hard. Dean walks over to look at Jake, then Sam, who wipes the guys blood from his face.

The four look over to the crypt as two separate engravings on the crypt spin in different directions, then stop.

"Oh, no." Bobby says, sounding defeated.

"Bobby, what is it?" Lila asks him.

"It's hell."

Dean rushes up and pulls the Colt from the Crypt, but it continues to turn and unlock itself.

"Take cover— now!" Bobby yells, grabbing Lila's arm and pulling her with him.

They all hide behind tombstones, praying that this isn't how it all ends. Then a large black mass erupts from the doors and everything is too loud for a moment, they can't even hear their own thoughts, which is probably a good thing. Black demon smoke continues to pour from the crypt, haring off in different directions. Lila raises her head and sees Dean maybe ten feet from her crouches behing a large tombstone with Sam.

"What the hell just happened?!" Dean yells.

"That's a devil's gate. A damn door to hell." Bobby tells him, trying his best to be heard over the noise.

"Come on!" Lila yells at them "We have to shut that gate."

Dean checks the Colt for bullets. And he's thinking if the demon gave this to Jake... then maybe...

Thunder crashes and the Yellow Eyed Demon appears behind Dean. He flings the Colt out of his hand and into his own. Dean looks dumbfounded.

"Boys shouldn't play with Daddy's guns." Yellow eye quips at him, smirking, seming so amused by hisself.

He flicks his wrist and throws Dean into the air, where Dean hits his head on a tombstone and lies there, stunned.

Bobby, Lila, and Sam are struggling to close the crypt door. Sam looks over and sees that Dean is hurt, and then sees the yellow eyed demon and once he notices Sam he smiles.

"Dean!" He lets go of the gate door and runs toward his brother.

Yellow eyes throws Sam against a nearby tree. "I'll get to you in a minute, champ. But I'm proud of you— knew you had it in you."  
Dean is struggling upright. Yellow eyes throws him against a post. "Sit a spell."

That thing really thought it as clever.

"So, Dean... I gotta thank you. You see, demons can't resurrect people, unless a deal is made. I know, red tape— it'll make you nuts. But thanks to you, Sammy's back in rotation." He laughs menacingly. "Now, I wasn't counting on that, but I'm glad. I liked him better than Jake, anyhow. Tell me— have you ever heard the expression, 'If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is?'."

"You call that deal good?" Dean quips.

"Well, it's a better shake than your dad ever got. And you never wondered why? I'm surprised at you. I mean..." Yellow eyes approaches Dean to speak to him face-to-face. "You saw what your brother just did to Jake, right? That was pretty cold, wasn't it?" He chuckles. "How certain are you that what you brought back, is 100%, pure, Sam?"

Sam, looks horrified; he can't clearly make out what yellow eyes is saying to his brother but he knows it isn't good.

Yellow eyes laughs in his face. "You of all people should know, that's what's dead, should stay dead. Anyway... thanks a bunch. I knew I kept you alive for some reason. Until now, anyway. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family."

As Yellow eyes cocks the colt and aims it right at Deam, John Winchester grabs the demon from behind. The body the demon possessed falls to the ground, the gun still in hand, while his father and the cloud of smoke that was yellow eyes wrestle. The demon pushes him to the ground and enters the body once more. When he stands up, Dean is pointing the colt at him, and shoots him in the heart.

The demon then falls to the ground, dead.

Bobby and Lila finally close the gate doors and turn to see John, Lila inhales shaprly and reaches for Bobby's hand. Dean stands up and faces his dad. He walks forward, and smiles at his son, putting his hand on his shoulder. Both are teary, and Sam approaches; They both look at Sam, and John and Sam nod at each other, a silent excahnge of all the things they never got to say. And with another look at Dean, John steps back and disappears into white light.

The brother's eyes land on each others.

…

Lila rushes over to him, for a moment there she honestly thought they were all going to die. He's bleedng from his forehead bu other than that he seems oky – aside from the shock of course.

They stand over the demon's smoking body, astonished.

"Well, check _that_ off the to-do list." He chuckles.

"You did it." Sam tells him proudly.

"I didn't do it alone."

"Do you think Dad really... do you think he really climbed outta hell?"

"The door was open. If anyone's stubborn enough to do it... it would be him."

Lila squeezes his hand.

"Where do you think he is now?" Sam asks him sounding like he is a little kid again.

"I don't know." Dean shrugs.

"I kind of can't believe it, Dean. I mean... our whole lives, everything... has been prepping for this, and now I..." He chuckles. "I kind of don't know what to say."

"I do." He lets Lila's hand go and leans closer to the body. "That was for our mom... you son of a bitch." And then he wraps his arm around Lila's shoulder, and pulls her in, kissing the top of her head.

Everything was over, for now at least.

He knew that killing yellow eyes didn't bring his mother back. Hell it didn't even make him feel better, he was just happy they were all still alive.

It was all he could ever ask for.

"You know," Sam says as him and Dean make their way to the impala. "When Jake saw me... it was like he saw a ghost."

Dean, stops loading stuff into the trunk to listen to him.

Sam scoff. "I mean, hell, you heard him, Dean. He said he killed me."

"Glad he was wrong."

"I don't think he was, Dean." Sam looks at him seriously. "What happened after I was stabbed?

"I already told you..." He says trying to sound annoyed and not guilty.

"Not everything."

"Sam, we just killed the demon. Can we celebrate for a minute?"

"Did I die?"

"Oh, come on."

"Did you sell your soul for me, like Dad did for you?"

Dean scoffs "Oh, come on. No..."

Sam continues to look at his brother, looking right through him. "Tell me the truth."

Dean sniffs

"Dean, tell me the truth." He practically begs.

"Sam..." He chuckles, trying to down play it but he already knows, Dean can tell.

"How long do you get?" Sam asks his voice breaking.

"One year." Dean whispers.

Sam nods, tears in his eyes.

"I got one year."

"You shouldn't've done that. How could you do that Dean?"

"Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job."

How was it that his voice sounded so small and meek?

"And what do you think my job is?"

"What?"

"You've saved my life over and over. I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get you out of this. Guess I gotta save your ass for a change."

"Yeah."

"Hey." Lila says approaching them, "am I interupting some bro moment here?"

Dean scoffs and Sam clears his throat.

She smirks. "Well... Yellow-Eyes might be dead. But a lot more got through that gate."

"How many you think?"

"Hundred. Maybe two hundred. It's an army. He's unleashed an army." Sam says, looking between the two of them.

"Hope to hell ya'll are ready. 'Cause the war has just begun."

"We will be ..." He pulls Lila in close and looks at Sam, "you mind riding back with Bobby?"

Sam nods. "My pleasure ..."

"I'm not really in the mood for car sex, I kind of have a head ache, that vulcan mind meld was the pits." She rubs her temple and Dean leans in to kiss it.

"I just wanna talk." He figured this truth had to come out sooner or later – and he survived telling Sam.

Lila takes his hands. "About what? You're not going to tell me to leave again are you because you promised..."

He shakes his head. "I didn't get ten years..."

She lets his hands go and steps back from him.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, I just..."

A tear falls from her eye and slides down her cheek. "How long?"

"One year." His voice cracks.

She pushes his chest and he stumbles backwards a bit. His eyes seem so far off, so sad and far away from her.

"Dean?"

He reaches for her, pulling her in close. She is crying so hard, he is the only thing keeping her upright. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Lila..."


	7. Holding On To Letting Go

All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

Summary: The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.

Fighting For Nothing  
Chapter Seven:  
"Holding On To Letting Go"

"This is a bad idea Sam..." Dean says into his phone, he's standing outside a gas station some where in Arkansas.

"So I guess its not going well?" Sam chuckles.

He sighs. "Its a waste of gas and time."

"Well if it is then at least you get to take a little vacation with the girl you love."

Dean runs his hand through his hair and looks back towards the gas station. Lila's at the register still piling snacks on the counter as fast as the guy is scanning them.

"Yeah."

"And maybe you guys will find something that can help you."

"How many times do I have to say it Sam?" he tells him through clenched teeth.

"As many times as you want. But at least try to enjoy this trip and bring me back a souvenir."

He's about to say it again when he hears the dial tone. He snaps his phone shut and tosses it into the backseat. Lila comes out of the gas station carrying three bags with big white sunglasses over her eyes and a smile that sort of sits everything right.

Sure, he was damned.

But he had her here with him now and not much else really mattered.

"Did you get any pie?"

She smirks, sliding her glasses on top of her head. "Oh yeah I got a very tasty pie for you."

He laughs.

"Too dirty?"

"Just the right amount..." he grabs her hip and pulls her towards him. "So when do I get to taste?"

"Later," she swoops out of the way of his lips and they land on her collar bone. "We are on kind of a time crunch here."

"Ah yeah the mysterious Pierre..." Dean says, tilting his head back.

"He's not mysterious he's just a witch living some where in New Orleans."

He smirks at her.

She grabs his face and looks into his eyes. "You remember the last time we took a road trip?"

He smirks. "How could I forget?"

"So you recall that you promised to take me to the beach?"

"Vaguely."

She smirks. "Well other things came up and we never got to go to the beach."

"So are you saying this whole thing is a rouse to get me to the beach."

"No we're going to see Pierre but there are beaches in Louisiana."

He sighs. "And pie right?"

She nods, opening up the passenger side door of the Impala. "Oh yeah..."

The motel just outside of New Orleans was mardi gras themed, with rich purple walls and gold sheets on the bed. Huge masks were hanging on the wall along with brightly colored paintings. Dean eyes her as she unpacks.

"What?"

"Nice place you picked out here." He teases.

"It was cheap."

He scoffs. "I am not a cheap date."

Lila laughs. "Yes you are Dean."

He smiles, he really can't disagree with her.

She opens up her bag and pulls out a black lacy bra, she makes a show of holding it up, examining it with a smirk.

Then she pulls out a red one and does the same thing.

"I'm having a hard time deciding which one to wear."

Dean's eyebrows raise. "Uh... Yeah you know I kinda like the red one..."

"Hmmm." she holds them up. "Maybe I should try them on to see."

He nods reassuringly. "That's an awesome idea."

Lila opens her bag wider and pulls out two pairs of lacy underwear. "And these," she hands him a pair and smirks. "I also have a blue one somewhere..."

"Are you torturing me?" He says in a strained voice.

She laughs. "I'm trying to be sexy."

He leans in closer to her burying his face in her hair. "You don't have to try."

She leans in the rest of the way and kisses him softly on the lips, his hands slide up her tank top tickling her skin.

Lila pulls away briefly and Dean's lips work their way up her jaw.

"I spent a hundred bucks on that lingerie."

"Don't need em'." his lips find hers again and words are lost for a moment.

She slips his flannel off sliding her hands down his arms, her fingertips burning down his arms.

He could never get tired of making love to her.

And yeah he called it that now.

 _Fuck off._

Lila Dawson was made of something pure and he was still enamored by that fact. And by the fact that by some stroke of dumb luck she wound up wanting him. She was something like a wild fire as she writhed on top of him, sending him closer to the edge so much quicker than he intended to go so quickly.

He was no where near finished.

Dean catches her face kisses the side of her mouth and whispers for her to turn over.

She gives him a devilish smirk, obliging to his request.

"I'm close." she tells him breathlessly, her face is flushed and her eyes have this dreamlike quality to them.

He could get lost in those deep brown galaxies if he let himself.

He kisses her neck, right on the spot he knows drives her crazy.

She reacts in kind, digging her nails into his neck to keep him there. "Dean."

He works his way down her body, pausing to marvel at her every few seconds. Her breaths were coming out in short spurts, muttering his name like a prayer.

"You promised me pie."

She laughs, and its the most beautiful sound in the fucking world.

She mumbles something but her breath catches and he can't quite make out what she said.

But it doesn't matter.

He loves the way she tastes, like sweet honey dripping between his fingers and running down his chin.

Her hands grip his hair and she bucks beneath him with something that sounds like his name sputtering out of her mouth. She was begging him not to stop, and it was driving him crazy.

"Dean..."

He was having a really hard time keeping his composure. Sure he had been here a thousand times with countless other girls, but Lila was something special.

And he knew deep down that he didn't deserve her, but she was his, all his.

"Can't take anymore..." she says trying to roll away from him. He's smirking on his way back up her body, glistening in sweat. She pulls him close and kisses down his neck whispering breathless, naughty things to him.

Her fingers slide down his torso and his breath hitches when she takes him in her hand.

And she had him right where she wanted him...

Lila Dawson was not a shy girl - not by any means. She knew how she liked things to go. And when it came to sex she learned pretty quickly what she liked and she was not shy about asking for it.

"I want you inside me..."

And how could he tell her no?

It all ends with them breathing heavily and their neighbor banging on the wall and cussing at them to keep quiet.

And he's laughing, and its been so long since she heard the sound.

"I missed this side of you." She says, pulling him in closer so she can kiss him.

"What side?"

"Your fun side."

He smirks. "Yeah well I am a very happy camper when I get my pie." He jumps on top of her and kisses her neck, and he figured it was a good enough time to say what he had been itching to say to her for almost three years. "Lila, I love you."

She goes very still in his arms, and pulls away slightly to look at him. "What?"

"I said I love you."

"Shit." She whispers, letting her head fall back on the pillow. "That's big, that's really fucking big."

Dean waits, feeling like a fifteen year old girl on prom night or something. It was actually kind of making him want to vomit. He knew that she loved him back, and he honestly expected her to say it right back.

"You're givin me a complex here."

She looks up at him, touching his cheek. "Say it again."

"I love you."

Her eyes tear up for a brief moment and she smirks at him. "I never thought I would hear you say that..."

"I just, I know we're on limited time and I can't keep it in any more, I don't want to." He leans into the palm of her hand. "I wish it was under different circumstances, I really do. I wish I would of just had the balls to tell you it three years ago."

"You loved me back then?"

He nods. "After that night, the first night we had sex I realized it. I was just too afraid to say it." He sighs, "I was afraid to let myself want or need you because I knew that you were too good for me and it never made much sense that you and I were even together."

She kisses him. "I love you too Dean. I've loved you since I was a kid. I always will love you, no matter what happens." She kisses him again, deeper and slower this time. She didn't know if meeting with Pierre would even work, but she had to try, she would try anything to save him. Even if it meant she had to take his place.

Lila was not letting him go without a fight.

Not this time...

…

First she has ever met Pierre she was just a little girl, he showed up to their house in Georgia with a box full of charms in the back of a cherry red Cadillac. He was unlike any other person Lila had ever saw, his eyes were almost cat-like, tall and lanky with a three piece suit tailored to fit his body. He even had a top hat, that he tipped off his head as he bowed before her with a smirk. He pulled a gold coin from behind her ear and handed it to her with a wink.

" _For good luck, little dove."_

His house was just as she imagined it to be, old Victorian right in the center of downtown New Orleans, the walk way leading up to the front door was lined in lion statues, each one a little different than the other.

She reaches for Dean's hand as they make their way up the porch. She can hear the sound of jazz music playing loudly inside. She nervously reaches for the huge door knocker that was hanging from a lions mouth.

Lila didn't really know why she was nervous.

A man answers the door, not Pierre. He is wearing a suit with coat tails and she has the feeling that when he opens his mouth to speak that he is going to have a British accent.

"How can I help you?" French, but close enough.

"I'm Lila Dawson. I'm here to see Pierre Deveroux. He's an old family friend."

The man raises his chin, holding his arm to let them step inside. "I shall see if the master is ready for visitors."

Lila and Dean exchange looks and Mr. Belvadere walks off up onto a golden stair case.

"Where the hell did you bring me Lila?"

"I know, I mean I expected it to be lavish I just had no idea."

Dean smirks, looking around at all the potentially breakable things that he really wanted to touch. "He called him master."

Lila snickers and smacks his arm. "Please behave yourself Winchester."

"Ahh!" The distinctive voice calls from behind her. "Little dove."

She turns around with a smile, to find Pierre in a lavish silk robe, something that can only be described as Hugh Hefner-ish. His dark hair is combed to the side, and his fingernails are painted a dark purple color that is almost black. His cat like eyes are lined in gold eye liner. "Pierre." She says.

"I was so sorry to hear about your mother, I couldn't make it to pay my respects, I am very sorry."

She shakes her head. "No need to apologize Pierre. I wish I would have missed it all myself."

He smirks, and it really weird because he hasn't aged a damn day since she's seen him last.

"So." He clears his throat, stepping down from the last stair, his eyes land on Dean. He looks at him with a concentrated look on his face. "You –" He points to him. "You're Dean Winchester."

"How did?"

"I know things honey." He winks at him. "Let me say this, you are definitely the best looking Winchester I have laid my eyes on, although I have heard that Sam is a little taller." He smirks. "I do love a tall man."

Dean nods, he was flattered but also a little frightened.

"Do we want tea or cocktails? I'll have Adalard whip us something up." He snaps his fingers and Mr. Belvedere is back, doting. He says something in french and Adalard nods, walking off with a bow. Then Pierre ushers them into a living room area. There are at least six couches, all of them a deep crushed purple with red pillows lined on them. The walls are covered in paintings most of them of Pierre himself, standing stoical, the kind of painting where the eyes seem to be following you. Lila sits down on the couch opposite Pierre, and Dean joins her.

She knew that bringing this whole thing up was going to be hard. And she was wracking her brain to figure it out.

"You're distraught little dove."

Lila nods. "Well I didn't just stop by for a friendly visit."

"Mm-hmm," He sits back, crossing his legs. "That much is a given."

She looks at Dean. "I remember when I was little my mother told me that you were a demon expert."

He nods. "Well given that my favorite lover was from the underworld..."

"Lover?" Lila asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yes." Adalard comes in then with a tray of cups and food, he sits it down on the table between them, and pours them all a cup of tea. The cups all had P's on them, written in gold calligraphy. Lila reaches for a cup and puts sugar inside the cup. "Demons make amazing lovers."

"We will take your word for that one." Dean quips, reaching for a tiny scone.

Pierre smirks. "You made a deal." He points at him, his long finger not wavering. "Your soul is damned and you are here to see if I can somehow break it?"

Lila nods. "I didn't know who else could help."

He takes his own tea, sipping it and eyeing them. "How long did you get?"

"One year."

He chokes on his tea a little bit, sitting back up and putting it on the table. "You fucked yourself on that one."

Lila clears her throat. "Can you help Pierre? Can you somehow get his contract voided? Without undoing the deal itself."

Pierre eyes him. And then his cat-like eyes shift to Lila, "Can I speak with you alone for a moment Lila,"

She looks at Dean. His eyes are apprehensive but he nods, squeezing her hand. She stands up, smoothing her shirt down and following him out of the room.

"I have something of your mothers here. You know she lived with me for a time when she was pregnant." He says, leading her down a long hallway.

"I didn't know that."

He smirks, opening a small closet door. Dust flies in the air around him and he reaches into a box and pulls out a small journal. "Ah-ha."

"What is this?"

He shrugs. "I never read it, your mother always kept a journal back then, this one must have gotten left behind."

Lila turns the book over in her hands, the year 1984 was etched into the spine.

"Thank you for this Pierre."

He nods, touching her arm, but his fingers slowly tighten on her skin "Lila you need to get as far away from that man as you possibly can."

She shakes her head and tries to pull her arm away. "You're hurting my arm."

"You have to run. You're in grave danger." He says his voice growing ominous.

Lila shakes her head.

"Your life depends on it."

"I'm not going to do that."

"Then those Winchesters are going to drag you down to hell with them."

She snatches her arm free and her fingertips find the gun in her pocket. "So be it then..."

She pushes past him back to the living room where Dean is playing with one of the huge crystals on the coffee table.

"Let's go." she snaps at him and he looks up at her like a child caught doing something he knew he wasn't supposed to.

"Everything okay?"

"He's a joke." she yells, loud enough to be heard in the other room.

Dean catches her hand. "What happened, your shaking."

"Get me out of here before I break something that neither of us can afford to pay for."

And with that he pulls her out the door.

She's seething, and he can see – no feel her anger growing inside the car. She wouldn't look at him and the angry set to her jaw was starting to worry him.

"Do you want to get a drink?"

She shakes her head.

"Are you going to tell me whats going on?"

"I told you Pierre was a joke."

"Yeah, you just... Something else is wrong I can just tell."

Her face softens and she half smiles at him. "Oh yeah?"

Dean nods.

"I just want to help. I have to do something Dean I can't just let you die."

And he swears his heart stops for a second. A jolt of disappointment shoots through his body. There it was. The impending doom he could feel swirling around him. He was going to die and he was going to hell and no one could stop it.

"I'm sorry." she whispers.

He works his jaw, shaking his head. "Don't apologize its my fault."

"You did what you thought was right. I... I can't blame you. I might have done the same thing."

He reaches for her hand, twining their fingers together. It was a simple gesture but it was just what she needed at that moment.

Lila squeezes his fingers. "I love you."

"Love you too." he brings her fingers up to his lips and kisses them softly. He holds them there for a moment just to feel her. He had accepted the fact that he was going to die. It was weird, but he was oddly at peace with it. And right there in that moment he had everything.

Everything he never thought he could have.

"I booked us a hotel right on the beach." he tells her softly. "I figured it was worth the dough just to see your face light up."

Lila laughs. "You're still taking me to the beach?"

"I owe you a beach trip, right?"

"Pull over."

He looks over at her, surprised.

"I want to kiss you and I don't want you to wreck."

And with that sentiment he pulls over to the side of the highway.

Lila climbs over on his lap, taking his head between her hands. She looks at him as if he is something magical, like he was made of gold. And yeah, he might never understand it but he sure was getting used to it.

She presses her lips to his, breathing life into him like nothing else.

If he was to die right then – he would die a happy man.

...

The hotel was really nice.

So nice she wasn't sure how the hell he was affording it. But she wasn't going to question it now.

Yes, her heart was still broken and she knew that in eleven months she was going to lose him but he was hers now.

And he was slipping his shirt off...

"Not wasting any time huh, Romeo?"

He turns around, smirking at her.

God he really was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

"There's a Jacuzzi in the bathroom."

She smiles, opening her bag. "Sounds like a dream."

"You gonna join me?" He asks.

"Of course, I'm just gonna make a phone call first."

"Well don't keep a girl waiting too long."

She laughs but its forced. She slips out on the balcony and dials Sam's number.

"Hello."

"It didn't work." she tells him quietly. She looks out at the ocean, marveling at the sight. Something about the beach always made her feel right.

Kind of like Dean always did.

"Its not our only lead."

She sighs. "Yeah..."

"Is something else wrong?"

"Just tired." she hears the water turn on and Dean's squeal of excitement.

"I know how you feel, trust me Lila. But we still have time."

"Yeah..."

"So enjoy the time you have right now. Have a vacation from all this crap."

And he was right. Sam was usually right about most things. He was smart in so many ways. "Thanks Sam."

"You're welcome."

She hangs up the phone and walks back into the room. And she sort of forgets all of their problems when she sees his bare backside.

Oh, there is a God and she is _definitely_ a woman.

She bites her bottom lip, sliding her shirt over her head. Who needs a beach when you have this kind of view?

He's covered in sand, its literally _every_ fucking where but he won't think about that now because she is smiling at him and she really did look amazing with a tan and those big white sunglasses perched on her nose. She was sipping her beer, marveling at the sea and he was watching her with same level of awe.

"I think this is what heaven looks like." she tells him in a soft voice.

"Yeah..." he agrees, pressing his lips to her shoulder.

"I want to live on the beach someday and just wake up every morning to a view like this."

"Sounds amazing."

She looks over at him, sliding her glasses on top of her head, sadness in her deep brown eyes.

It didn't last long, the happiness, the bliss. Somehow the impending doom always managed to find its way back to them.

"Its gonna be okay."

She sighs. "Yeah because I'm gonna get you out of this."

He smirks. "You'll take down every demon and hell hound who tries to get me won't you?"

"Damn straight." she rests her head on his shoulder. "I just got you back and I don't want to lose you again."

He wraps his arm around her and decides to take a peak out at the ocean. It was beautiful. But he had seen better, he'd held something more beautiful in his arms.

"No matter what happens to me I will always love you." he whispers, promising it with all the conviction he left inside of him and it might just be the one promise he could keep...


	8. Seven

All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

Summary: It wasn't long til it all caught up to them... 

Fighting For Nothing  
Chapter Eight:  
"Seven"

Dean Winchester was a shot of whiskey and the scratch of motel sheets on your bare skin. He was the smell of gunpowder and smoky bars. He was scarred and messy and sometimes he scared her. So different than the boy she knew when they were kids. Sometimes she looked into his eyes and wondered if that boy still existed underneath all the rubble that he was. Sometimes he let him slip through, fleeting whispers of moments, over with before she even got to enjoy them. Dean Winchester was a broken man. but that didn't stop her from loving him.

Especially when he was inside her – God – that man knew how to make a woman's toes curl.

It had become a fuck-fest. A let's pull over here for a quickie, Sam is in the backseat passed out, be fucking quiet. Bathrooms, closets, they even did it on a park bench...

It was just so damned good.

They were currently in some sleazy motel that rented by the hour, he was on top of her, whispering words of encouragement into her ear in a raspy voice. "Come on baby, cum for me..."

It made her fucking toes curl when he said shit like that.

And she knew, she was fucking done for...

"Dean, Bobby's got something..." Sam's voice comes from the doorway and Lila is all but writhing under his brother and god dammit if Dean doesn't have the nerve to chuckle. "Crap." He says shutting the door behind himself.

"I could literally kill you." She says, smacking Sam on the shoulder because she can't reach his head without standing on a stool. "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

Sam blushes, and rubs his arm innocently. "I honestly thought y'all were finished."

Lila scowls, and Dean comes out of the motel smirking, grinning from fucking ear to ear. And she wants to punch him now. "I'm mortified."

"Its a beautiful, natural act." He winks at her. "And at least you got to finish."

She smacks his arm, "let's get on the road before I die of embarrassment right here."

Dean wraps his arm around her shoulder and kisses her temple, he pulls her around to the trunk of the Impala with him. "I guess that's what we get for not locking the door."

She wants to laugh. "Yeah and I guess seeing your bare ass will scar him enough for the both of us."

He kisses her, tangling his hand through her hair. "You know, I am kind of enjoying having you on the road with us..."

She smirks, "oh yeah, I'm sure its a lot easier than having to troll for a hook up."

"Hey, you started it this time baby." He playfully squeezes her ass. "I could get the room for another hour."

Lila pulls away, pushing his chest playfully. "I need food." She whines.

"And that is why I love you."

…

The sound of cicadas is thick in the air as they pull up to the old farmhouse. It reminds Lila of Georgia summers and how her momma always said that the cicada noise is what heat would sound like – if it made a sound. She also told her that those fucking things were demons and to stay the hell away from them.

She steps out of the car, into the sweltering heat, her black t-shirt draws the heat and she is instantly regretting her choice in wardrobe. She eyes Dean and Sam, both of them in their jackets.

"Y'all do realize its like a hundred degrees out here don't you?"

Dean shrugs, taking a bite of his cheeseburger. "Yeah..."

"Hear those cicadas?" Sam asks, looking at Dean from the other side of the Impala.

"That can't be a good sign." Dean says, looking at the both of them and then taking another bite of his burger.

"No, it can't." Sam says.

Bobby comes from his truck, eyeing Dean with a disapproving look. "So,we're eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we?"

"Well, I sold my soul. Got a year to live. I ain't sweating the cholesterol."

Lila flinches and it seems to go unnoticed by him.

"So, Bobby, what do you think? We got a biblical plague here or what?" Sam asks, trying to change the subject. That flinch didn't go unnoticed by him at all.

"Well, let's find out. Looks like the swarm's ground zero."

Dean bangs on the farmhouse's door and screams. "Candy-gram!" at the top of his lungs.

There is no answer but cicadas chirping. So Dean picks the lock and opens the door; they cover their noses in disgust. The smell smacks them all in the face. And that's how they know something is definitely wrong here...

"That's awful." Sam says, scrunching his nose up in disgust.

"That so can't be a good sign."

Dean enters first, Sam behind him with a gun drawn. Lila follows him with her own gun and Bobby brings up the rear. They creep through the house; stopping in the second room, they can hear what sounds like panicked screams.

"You hear that?" Lila says, grabbing Sam's arm.

They kick open the next door; the sounds turn out to be coming from a television set some old dramatic TV show is playing full blast and a family of three is seated on the couch, they appear to be several days dead. They all recoil in disgust and Lila holds her hand over her noise, thinking she might be sick.

"Oh, my god." She says, looking at Dean.

"Bobby, what the hell happened here?" Sam asks, looking behind him.

"I don't know."

"Check for sulfur." Dean says, looking at all of them.

Lila makes a show of saluting him and Sam chuckles despite the situation.

The four of them investigate the room; Dean hears a noise out front and whistles quietly, then signals to the others that he's going to go check it out. Bobby, Sam and Lila circle around the other direction.

Out front, Dean exits cautiously, gun drawn, and looks around. As he comes around the house he is knocked to the ground by a man with a shotgun:

"Isaac? Tamara?" Bobby says, coming around the other side of the porch.

"Bobby." The woman says, her British accent is thick. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same." Bobby says.

"Heya, Bobby." Isaac greets him with a smile.

Dean raises an arm pitifully from the ground, waving it for attention. "Hello. Bleeding here."

Lila comes around the front of the porch with Sam, both of them with their guns drawn, but when they see that Bobby seems to know these people they put them away. Bobby helps Dean up off the ground and Lila notices the blood coming from his nose right away.

"What happened?"

"Little misunderstanding." Tamara says, holding her hand out for Lila to shake. "I'm Tamara, this is my husband Isaac." Lila shakes her hand, but she is weary of them, she doesn't trust hunters she's never met before. But Bobby sure does seem to know them well.

"Dean here has a way of finding himself in those from time to time." Lila says, feigning a smile at their new friends.

Everyone chuckles, except Dean.

Lila takes his arm and pulls him off the porch, "lets get you some ice..."

…

They end up where Isaac and Tamara seem to be squatting, a run down old shack that looks like it has seen way better days. Dean is on the phone in the back room and the rest of them are standing around, waiting. Her and Sam have had four staring contests since they got there and she was starting to get very bored.

"Honey?" Isaac says in a soft voice. "Where's the Palo Santo?"

"Well, where'd you leave it?" Tamara quips back at him.

"I don't know, dear. That's why I'm asking."

"Palo Santo?" Sam asks, stepping away from the wall.

"It's holy wood, from Peru. It's toxic to demons like holy water. Keeps the bastards nailed down while you're exorcising them." Tamara explains to them. She was growing on Lila she seemed genuine and she kind of reminded her of Del.

Tamara digs in a bag and pulls out a large, pointed stake. She hands it to Isaac with an affectionate smile.

"Thank you, dear." He tells her, returning her gaze.

"You'd lose your head if it wasn't for me."

"So, how long you two been married?" Lila asks them. She had never really seen a hunter couple before, especially one that seemed to get a long so well and love each other despite everything.

She was more than a little envious.

She might never get that with Dean...

"Eight years this past June." Tamara tells her with a smile.

"The family that slays together..." Isaac tells them.

"Right." Sam chimes in. "I'm with you there. So, how'd you get started?"

An awkward silence ensues Tamara and Isaac exchange a hard look. It hurts to look at. Lila nudges Sam with her elbow.

"I, uh, you know... I'm sorry. It's not – that's none of my business."

"No, no. It's – it's all right." Tamara says, tears still in her dark eyes.

Dean comes walking back into the room, phone pressed to his ear. "Well, Jenny, if you look as pretty as you sound, I'd love to have an ... "appletini'." He makes a face at the others at the word "appletini" that makes Lila want to gag. "Yeah. Call you... Oh yeah I am writing it down right now..." He hangs up quickly and addresses the group. "That was the coroner's tech."

"Poor girl." Lila says, rolling her eyes. Some times it bothered her how good he was at flirting and how easily his charms seemed to work.

"And?" Sam asks.

"Get this – that whole family, cause of death? Dehydration and starvation. There's no signs of restraint, no violence, no struggle. They just sat down and never got up."

"But there was a fully stocked kitchen just yards away." Bobby finally chimes in.

"Right." Lila says, looking at the group. "What is this, a demon attack?"

"If it is, it's not like anything I ever saw, and I've seen plenty."

"Well, what now? What should we do?" Dean asks.

"Uh, "we're" not gonna do anything." Isaac speaks up suddenly, looking at them all with wide eyes.

"What do you mean?" Sam asks, sounding confused.

"You guys seem nice enough, but, this ain't "Scooby-Doo," and we don't play well with others." He tells him in a hard voice.

"Well, I think we'd cover a lot more ground if we all worked together." Sam says in a harder voice.

"No offense, but we're not teaming with the damn fools who let the Devil's Gate get opened in the first place."

All of them flinch.

"No offense?" Dean asks, raising an eyebrow.

Tamara eyes him, "Isaac. Like you've never made a mistake."

"Oh yeah," he says, "yeah. Locked my keys in the car, turned my laundry pink. Never brought on the end of the world, though."

Dean chuckles. "All right. That's enough."

Lila grabs his arm, she can tell he is about 2.5 seconds away from mopping the floor with Isaac's smug face and she is not really in the mood for a fight. "Guys, this isn't helping. Dean..." She says his name in a quiet, stern voice.

"Look, there are couple hundred more demons out there now. We don't know where they are, when they'll strike. There ain't enough hunters in the world to handle something like this. You brought war down on us – on _all_ of us." Isaac says.

Tamara pulls Isaac away. "Okay. that's quite enough testosterone for now."

Lila nods a silent thank you to her and the two of them leave the room.

…

Dean of course is chatting up a witness, a young blonde woman, who is hanging on his every word. Lila walks into the store, her eyes boring into him as he rests a hand on the lady's shoulder..

"What happened outside makes you realize how fragile life really is. You got to make every second count."

She nods.

Lila approaches, clearing her throat.

"Excuse me a minute, would you?"

"Sure." She says, walking away from them.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Lila asks, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'm questioning a witness. What are you doing?"

"Workin'. Dead body, possible demon attack – that kind of stuff." She resists the urge to smack him, FBI agents don't really go around swatting at each other.

"You got a thing for blondes?" She asks in a low voice.

He smirks. "Are you jealous?"

"I'm territorial. And you, you don't even freaking realize that all you have to do is smile at a girl and she swoons." Lila crosses her arms over her chest and looks away from him.

"Yeah, well I only have eyes for you okay?" He leans in closer, not caring if he blew their cover. "You know that right?"

She rolls her eyes. "Don't make it a thing," she scoffs.

He smirks. Bobby enters the store then - in a suit. His hair is slicked back. Dean and Lila look at him, impressed.

"Whoa." Dean whistles. "Looking spiffy, Bobby. What were you, a G-man?"

"Attorney for the D.A.'s office." He says, adjusting his tie. "I just spoke to the suspect."

"So, what do you think? Is she possessed or what?" Lila asks him.

"Don't think so. There's none of the usual signs – no blackouts, no loss of control. Totally lucid. Just, she really wanted those shoes. Spilled a glass of holy water on her just to be sure; nothing."

"Maybe she's just some random whack job."

Bobby shakes his head. "If it had been an isolated incident, maybe, but first the family, now this? I believe in a lot of things. Coincidence ain't one of them. Did you boys find anything around here?"

"No sulfur, nothing." Lila says, sounding disappointed.

"Well, maybe something." He nods to a security camera in the ceiling. "I got Sam looking at the tapes right now."

Sam is seated in the security room, eyes glued to the small screen, watching the security footage, the three of them hover over him, making the small room feel even smaller.

"Anything interesting?" Dean asks.

"I don't know yet. Might just be a guy..." They watch ta red headed man approach the suspect and whisper something into her ear. "Or it might be our guy."

Lila lets out a whistle. "Real incriminating evidence we got here."

"I think its how the demon is controlling them." Sam says, stopping the tape on the man's black eyes.

"Can a demon even do that?" Dean asks, raising up to look at Bobby.

"He just walks up to someone,touches them, and they go stark raving psycho?"

"Those demons that got out at the gate – they're gonna do all kinds of things we haven't seen." Bobby tells them.

"You mean the demons we _let_ out..."

…

Much later that night Dean, Bobby and Lila are staking out a bar, sitting in Bobby's car.

"What time is it?" Bobby asks with a yawn.

"Seven past midnight." Dean says, sounding annoyed.

"Exactly seven minutes since the last time you asked." Lila chimes in from the backseat. They had been sitting here for almost three hours now and nothing at all had happened, and her legs were cramping up and her ass was asleep.

Bobby gives her one of his infamous looks over his shoulder.

"Sorry, I'm hungry."

"You sure this is the right place Dean?"

"No. But I spent all day canvassing this stupid town with this guy's stupid mug, and, supposedly, he drinks at this ... stupid bar."

"We should have ate before we came..." Lila whines from behind him.

There is a loud pounding on the window; all of them jump, and Lila lets a small squeak escape her. It's Sam, who thinks he's fucking hilarious all of a sudden. He chuckles loudly as he slides into the backseat next to Lila.

"That's not funny!" Dean tells him angrily.

"Yeah." Sam says, ignoring him. "Uh, all right, so – so, John Doe's name is Walter Rosen. He's from Oak Park, just west of Chicago. Went missing about a week ago."

"The night the Devil's Gate opened?"

"Bingo."

Dean looks out the window, something catching his eye. "Guys."

Walter, whatever his name was gets out of his car and walks towards the bar.

"All right. Showtime." Dean says, getting excited.

"Wait a minute."

"What?"

"What'd I just say? We don't know what to expect out of this guy. We should tail him till we know for sure."

"Oh, so he kills someone and we just sit here with our junk in our hands?"

"Speak for yourself..." Lila qualms. She was ready to pound on some demons, and she was tired of sitting in this car for God's sake.

"We're no good dead." Bobby tells him in a stern voice. "And we're not gonna make a move until we know what the score is."

"Hey, Bobby?" Lila says, noticing Tamara and Isaac walking into the bar from her window. "I don't think that's an option."

"Why not?" He scoffs, probably still sour for her remark to him earlier.

"The whole Scooby gang is here."

"Damn it!" Bobby says, slamming his fist down on the steering wheel.

…

They settled at a table, the bar seemed normal enough to them. Tamara's eyes scanned over the patrons, her eyes landing on their demon. It should be cut and dry she tells herself. It should be no big deal. So why does she feel so nervous about it?

A woman puts a song on the jukebox; the bartender slides a beer towards the demon, who is sitting at the bar. A waitress comes over to their table and sits their drinks down.

"Thanks a lot." Isaac tells her.

"You're welcome." She says with a wink and a flip of her hair.

Isaac pulls out a flask of holy water from his pocket and Tamara eyes him, she almost asks him to just leave. The demon walks past them towards the bathroom.

"Pull the car in back. We'll be right out."

"I love you." She says to him.

"I know." Isaac almost looks surprised by her words, or maybe it was the way her eyes were wide with fear.

He chooses to ignore it, chalks it up to adrenaline and heads towards the bathroom, the bartender grabs his arm and stops him. Tamara stands up alertly.

"What do you think you're doing?" He seethes, his fingers tightening on his arm.

"I'm just hitting the head." He says with a chuckles.

"No." He grabs the flask of holy water and tosses it aside. "I mean, what do you think you're doing here?" His eyes flash black and Tamara recoils in fear behind her husband.

"I don't like hunters in my bar."

They turn to see the waitress stalking towards them, and see that the rest of the employees and patrons have turned towards them. The demon walks back out of the bathroom. He and everyone else in the bar close in around them; all have black demon-eyes.

There is a loud pounding on the door and everyone turns towards it.

Outside Bobby and Dean slam themselves against the door, trying to force it open.

"Man, you _really_ walked into the wrong place." the red headed demon tells them with a smirk.

The waitress steps out of the crowd, eyes on Tamara like she is a piece of meat. "Hold on. I like the girl."

"Wish I had me a girl like that." One of them cat calls.

"I can think of about a thousand things I'd like to do to her." the waitress says with black eyes.

"You're not gonna lay one filthy finger on her!"

Another demon approaches Isaac, he lifts a large bottle of drain cleaner and holds it out to him."I got something for you." The waitress grabs a hold of Tamara, keeping her from getting to Isaac.

"Here. Have a drink on me, hmm?"

"Isaac?" Tamara yells frantically at him.

"On the house" The original demon says, laughing.

"Isaac!" She yells, all the energy draining from her body.

Isaac takes the bottle and begins pouring its contents down his throat, as Tamara screams behind him and the demons cackle wildly, obviously pleased with the show.

"Isaac, no! Baby, please!" She begs, nearly falling over on her knees from the weight of what she had just seen.

He drains the bottle, shaking, and drops it to the floor. He gags in agony, foamy liquid and blood come bubbling out through his mouth. He chokes and collapses to the floor.

Tamara watches in horror, in so much agony that she hopes they just finish her off quickly

"Oh, he's down!" He smirks at her, "All right, honey. Your turn."

With a screech of tires, Bobby's car bursts through the front door of the bar. They all get out, armed with holy water, which they fling violently into the crowd of demons. They back up and Sam grabs Tamara, who is still screaming frantically for Isaac, she's in shock, Lila can tell and her heart aches for her.

And she couldn't help but think she might share that same fate; watching the love of your life die right before your eyes with no way to stop it.

One of the demon's almost gets a hold of her, the guy from the surveillance tapes, the guy they had been tailing all night, but Dean swoops in night in shining armor and all and pulls him away from her. Lila helps Sam get Tamara in the car.

"Come on, we got to go! He's dead! Get in the car!" Sam yells, seeing Dean still immersed in the fight. "Dean, come on!"

Lila touches Tamara's arm as she tucks herself into Bobby's backseat. "Dean!" She screams, over all the noise in the bar she manages to be louder, a skill she got from her mother. "Let's go."

Dean opens the trunk just as he runs out of holy water, and the redheaded demon smirks at him with black eyes. Dean overpowers him when he lunges at him and stuffs him in the trunk, which has a devil's trap inscribed inside. Once the demon notices he screams.

And somehow by some dumb stroke of luck he manages to tumble into the front seat of the car before the other demons reach him.

"Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!" He yells as Bobby's tires squeal out of there.

Close fucking call.

Lila smacks him in the back of the head. "What the hell are you doing?"

He eyes her, "Why are you so pissed at me?"

"Because you could have been killed."

And they all fall silent.

...

"... And I say we're going back – now!" Tamara yells at Sam, her voice is full of tears and Lila can't help but feel her pain too. Dean was standing beside her but he might as well have been a million miles away from her. His knuckles are bloody from the fight and he has a hard set to his jaw, the one he gets when he is going to do something stupid.

"Just hold on a second." Sam says, trying to diffuse this bomb before it blew up.

"I left my husband bloody on the floor..." She screams at him.

"Okay, I understand that, but we can't go back."

"Fine. Then you stay. But I'm heading back to that bar."

"I'll go with her." Dean says, pushing off the wall next to her.

"It's suicide, Dean." Sam yells at him

"So what? I'm dead already."

Lila winces, and walks out of the room. She couldn't stand around and listen to this crap. She can't sit and watch him kill himself. She fucking refused to do it.

"We don't even know how many of them there are."

Bobby, catches her arm on her way out. "Yeah, we do. There's seven. Do you have any idea who we're up against?"

"No. Who?"

"The seven deadly sins, live and in the flesh."

Lila's breath catches in her throat.

Dean grins with pleasure. "What's in the box?!" and they all just look at him like he's crazy. "Brad Pitt? "Se7en"? No? Lila you know what I'm talking about."

"Not a good time Dean." She says waving him off.

Bobby tosses him a book

"What's this?"

"Binsfeld's Classification of Demons." He tells him, "In 1589, Binsfeld ID'd the seven sins – not just as human vices but as actual devils."

"The family – they were touched by Sloth. And the shopper..." Sam says, and it all clicking into place now

"That's Envy's doing – the customer we got in the next room. I couldn't suss it out at first, until Isaac. He was touched with an awful Gluttony."

"I don't give a rat's ass if they're the Three Stooges or the Four Tops! I'm gonna slaughter every last one of them!" Tamara says, with tears and anger in her voice.

"We already did it your way." Bobby yells, because she isn't listening to reason. "You burst in there half-cocked and look what happened! These demons haven't been topside in half a millennium! We're talking medieval, Dark Ages! We've never faced anything close to this! So we are gonna take a breath..." He takes a deep breath and shouts. "And figure out what our next move is!"

The two of them have a staring competition

"I am sorry for your loss." Bobby says in a softer voice, his eyes softening.

Tamara storms out of the room, leaving them all to stare at each other.

Lila's hand reaches out for Dean. He wasn't listening to reason either. And this whole kamikaze thing was getting old. She wasn't going to let him go, she would knock his ass out and tie him a chair if she had to.

"Can we talk for a minute?" She asks him sternly.

He nods and follows her into the other room.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Back at that bar..." Her voice cracks. "Why would you keep risking your life like that?"

He scoffs. "Lila I risk my life everyday."

"Yeah, well you're just being reckless now. Its freaking me the fuck out Dean."

He reaches for her but she sidesteps his hand, looks up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I mean I know your head's on the chopping black but why do you want the blade to fall any sooner?"

Dean shrugs. "That's not how it is..."

"I'm not going to watch you die." She yells, regretting the words as soon as she speaks them. But every time she closes her eyes she thinks about all that blood that was around Isaac's body and how broken Tamara was now after what had happened. And she knows that the fate that awaits him will be so much worse. "I'm sorry." She runs her fingers through her hair and looks up at him.

This time she lets him touch her. "Don't be sorry..."

She wraps her arms tighter around him. "I need you okay."

God did he know exactly what she meant.

Someone knocked on the door, Sam walks slowly in the door way and smirks at them.

"Glad you finally learned to knock Sammy." Dean tells him sarcastically.

Lila smirks, letting her arms fall from around him. The demon's screams can be heard from the other room and it makes her nervous not knowing whats going on. "I'm gonna go see if they need any help." As she turns to leave Dean catches her wrist, pulling her back in for a quicl peck on the lips.

"Love you." he tells her with a small smile.

"Love you too." She pats Sam's arm on her way out of the room, leaving the two of them alone.

Sam shakes his head and looks at his brother with a smirk.

"Whats so funny Sam?"

"Nothin," he chuckles. "Just getting used to the fact that you actually have emotions."

Dean playfully punches him in the gut on his way out. "Fuck off..."


	9. I Shall Not Be Moved

All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

Fighting For Nothing  
Chapter Nine:  
"I Shall Not Be Moved"

When they step into the room, the demon is chuckling, looking at them with back eyes and a smirk. "So you know who I am, huh?"

"We do. We're not impressed." Bobby tells him, flask of holy water in hand.

It says nothing to him, almost seems like it looks right through him. It's eyes turn back to normal.

"Why are you here? What are you after?" Sam asks it, also getting no answer either.

"He asked you a question. What do you want?" Dean chimes in, taking the flask from Bobby.

It chuckles at him condescendingly. Dean opens the flask of holy water and splashes him.

"Ya! Ahh! Ungh ... We already have ..." It pants, "what we want."

"What's that?" Dean asks with a raised eyebrow.

It smirks at him. "We're out. We're free. Thanks to you, my kind are everywhere. I am legion, for we are many." It chuckles. "So me, I'm just celebrating. Having a little fun."

"Fun?" Lila scoffs.

"Yeah. Fun. See, some people crochet. Others golf. Me? I like to see people's insides ... on their outside." It stares at all of them with wild dead eyes.

"I'm gonna put you down like a dog." Tamara says through clenched teeth.

"Please." It laughs. "You really think you're better than me?" It laughs even harder. "Which one of you can cast the first stone, huh? What about you, Dean? You're practically a, a walking billboard of gluttony and lust." Dean nods, in acknowledgment. "And Tamara. All that wrath. Ooh. It clicks its tongue, tsk,tsk,tsk. "It's the reason you and Isaac became hunters in the first place, isn't it? It's so much easier to ... drink in the rage than to face what really happened all those years ago."

Her face twisted in anger, and Tamara smacks him, hard, twice, until Dean pulls her back. And Lila wraps her arms around her, trying to give her some sort of comfort.

"Whew." It laughs. "My point exactly. And you call us sins. We're not sins, man. We are natural human instinct. And you can repress and deny us all you want, but the truth is, you are just animals. Horny... greedy... hungry... violent animals. And you know what? You'll be slaughtered like animals, too." It pauses, "The others – they're coming for me."

"Maybe. But they're not gonna find you... 'cause you'll be in hell." And the thing actually looks scared for a split second. "Someone send this clown packing."

Tamara steps away from Lila with a nod. "My pleasure." She opens up a small book and begins reading from it. "Exorcizamus te, Omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica..."

They leave just as the demon begins to scream.

Bobby looks troubled as they all huddle in the living room, and all three of them watch him, waiting. "I don't think we're gonna have to worry about hunting them." He says.

"What does that mean?"

"I think maybe this joker's right. They're gonna be hunting us. And they're not gonna quit easy."

"You guys, why don't you take Tamara and head for the hills? I'll stay back, slow them down, buy you a little time."

Lila's eyes widen. "I thought we were done with that whole thing?"

His eyes don't meet hers.

"You're insane, Dean. Just forget about it, okay?" Sam chimes in.

"We're outmanned, we're outgunned. We'll be dead by dawn."

"We can take them." Lila says, looking only at Dean. "Can you stop trying to be the hero for once?"

"Look, if we're going down, we're going down together, all right?"

Dean nods looking at Lila. "When it goes down you stay with me."

She rolls her eyes, but she has honestly planned on it, only way to keep him from doing something stupid. "Yes sir." And she resists the urge to salute him.

From the other room, the demon gives a final scream the house shakes and a gust blows out the candles. Tamara slams the book shut and comes into the other room.

"Demon's out of the guy." She informs them.

"And the guy?"

"He didn't make it..." She says coldly.

It seems like days pass while they wait. Dean is seated on the floor with a row of candles behind him, loading a shotgun. And Lila watches him from across the room helping Sam fill flasks with holy water. She won't admit that he looks damn good looking up at her with that hard stare. They watch each other silently for a moment until the lights begin to flicker. They look around at each other, all of their adrenaline begins pumping. An old radio sparks to life, playing the beginnings of a scratchy recording of some old country song begin playing.

Dean cocks his shotgun and stands, "here we go."

"Tamara!" A voice, Isaac's voice rings from outside. "Tamara! Tamara! Tamara! Help me! Pleeeeeeease!" No one moves, but Tamara. She rises up from her perch next to Bobby and lets out a sound of relief. "Tamara! I got away, but I'm hurt bad! I need help!" He begs.

"It's not him." Bobby tells her. "It's one of those demons. It's possessing his corpse."

Then its pounding on the door frantically.

"Baby!" It says, "Why won't you let me in? You left me behind back there. How could you do that? We swore ... At that lake in Michigan. Remember? We swore we would never leave each other..."

She turns to them all, tears streaming down her face. "How did he know that?"

"Steady, Tamara. Steady, Tamara, steady, steady..." Bobby almost coos to her, his hand lands on her shoulder.

Lila looks to Dean for some reassurance. In all honesty, she was afraid that this was it. He touches her arm. "Remember what I said..."

She nods, kissing him quickly.

"You just gonna leave me out here? You just gonna let me die?! I guess that's what you do, dear! Like that night those things came to our house... came ... for our daughter! You just let her die, too." It yells, it was so close, and it was probably the most frightening thing Lila had ever heard.

"You son of a bitch!" She yells, breaking away from Bobby's grasp.

"Tamara, no." He yells, getting away from her.

She pushes the door open, breaking the salt line, and tackles Isaac down the steps. She lands on top of him and raises the Palo Santo stake.

"You're not Isaac," she yells plunging the wood deep into his chest, it sizzles, and he screams in pain.

And the other six demons cross the broken salt line and enter the house. One, an overweight balding guy, corners Bobby, who backs up slowly. He stalks Bobby confidently, smiling, until he stops as if he's run into an invisible wall. He looks around, confused. He is under another devil's-trap on the ceiling. He looks at Bobby, pleading. Bobby smiles.

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

In another hallway, Dean and Lila are cornered by the waitress. Lila takes a shot at her first and it throws her back knocking her into a wall. Then she advances on Dean.

She backs him into the bathroom, smiling at him with a devilish grin.

"I suppose you're Lust." He says, smirking.

"Baby, I'm whatever you want me to be." She saunters towards him, eyes scanning over him.

"Yeah, all right, just stay back, my girlfriend is a real jealous type." He holds his hands up in defense and chuckles to himself.

"She's a little indisposed at the moment, Besides I'm not gonna hurt you – not yet. Not unless you want me to. She runs a hand along his shoulder; he looks down at her, eyes glossed over for a moment.

Lila appears suddenly and grabs her by her hair, pushing the both of them towards the shower. Dean rips the curtain back and she plunges her face into the holy water inside the bath tub – Sam's genius idea.

"You were gonna kiss her!" She yells at him, and the demon manages to rise out of the water for a moment. Lila tightens her grip and plunges her back down into it.

Dean eyes her. "She's lust."

Lila rolls her eyes at him. "I would smack you if I had a free hand."

He takes a hold of the demon, and sits her down on the toilet, under a devil's trap. This one was his genius idea. He hands Lila the exorcism book and smirks. "You wanna do the honors?"

She snatches it from him. "Go make sure Tamara's okay."

He nods, kissing her on the cheek on his way out.

The demon laughs at her. "Its not lust in those pretty little eyes of yours when you look at him..."

She ignores her, finding the page she needs.

"You two might actually have a shot at something real if it wasn't for the fact that he was going to hell, kind of puts a damper on the whole thing, doesn't it Lila."

"Fuck off whore." And she begins the exorcism.

…

By some fucking miracle they all survive. It was touch and go there for a while especially when Sam tells them the story of how he managed to take on three demons. With the help of some mysterious hunter chick and her demon killing knife.

It didn't make much sense to Lila, but she was letting them all gush over the prospect of some knife and some bad ass chick that just magically disappeared. And she would have thought Sam hallucinated it or something if she hadn't seen the bodies...

She leaves them to bury the bodies and she walks over to where Tamara is standing next to Isaac's funeral pyre.

Tamara's eyes land on hers and she offers her a weak smile.

"I'm sorry this happened."

She shakes her head, "Nothing we can do to change it now."

Lila nods.

"I knew him for just a few months before we were married. I came here on scholarship to NYU. Isaac was a photography major." She tells her, wrapping her arms around herself. "He was the love of my life."

Lila touches her shoulder, pulling her closer to her.

"I'm going to miss him for the rest of my life." She breaks down then, resting her head on Lila's shoulder as she cries. And she just holds her, knowing that right now she didn't need anything else but for someone to just hold her.

…

She gives Tamara her number, tells her that she's always got a friend when she needs one. She tells her to be safe and the two of them hug once more.

"Thank you Lila." She nods, forcing a smile. "I hope things work out with you and Dean. You two seem to really have something special."

Lila smiles. "Thanks. Me too."

She walks off, waving at the boys as she makes her way towards her car. "See you gents around."

"Tamara?" Bobby says, and she stops to hear him. "The world just got a lot scarier. Be careful."

"You too." She nods, opening her car door and driving off.

Lila makes her way over to the group, ducking under Dean's arm and wrapping her arm around his torso. This, this was where she felt most at home.

"Keep your eyes peeled for omens. I'll do the same." Bobby tells them with a nod.

"You got it." Dean tells him.

He gives them all a forced smile and walks off towards his car. "Take care of each other..."

"So, where to?" Dean asks as they make their way to the Impala, Lila still under his arm.

"Uh, I don't know. I was thinking Arizona maybe." Sam says.

"Arizona?"

"Yeah. Listen, I was talking to Tamara, and she mentioned this hoodoo priestess outside of Vegas that might be able to help us out. You know, with your – with your demon deal."

"Nah." He says, letting Lila go and opening the trunk.

""Nah"? What does that mean," Sam asks, looking at Lila for some help.

"Why are you so against us trying to help you?"

"No hoodoo spell's gonna break this deal, all right? It's a goose chase."

"Yeah, but we don't know that, Dean..."

Dean cuts him off. "Yes, we do. Forget it. She can't help."

"Look, it's worth..."

He speaks over him, his voice booming. "We're not going, and that's that. What about Reno, huh?"

Dean smacks him on the arm lightly and turns to walk away, but Sam grabs his sleeve and turns him back to face him.

"You know what? I've had it. I've been bending over backwards trying to be nice to you, and ..." He shrugs. "I don't care anymore."

"That didn't last long."

"Yeah, well, you know what? I've been busting my ass trying to keep you alive, Dean, and you act like you couldn't care less. What, you got some kind of death wish or something?"

"No, it's not like that."

"Then what's it like, Dean?"

"Sam..."

"Just tell me.

Dean lets out a breath, and it seems like he has been holding it in forever. "We trap the crossroads demon, trick it, try to welch our way out of the deal in any way, you die. Okay? You die." He steps back, away from them. "Those were the terms. There's no way out of it. If you try to find a way, either of you so help me god, _I'm_ gonna stop you."

"How could you make that deal, Dean?" Sam says to him.

Lila just puts her hand over her mouth in shock.

"'Cause I couldn't live with you dead..."

"So, what, now I live and you die?"

He nods, "That's the general idea, yeah."

"Yeah, well, you're a hypocrite, Dean. How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? 'Cause I was there. I remember. You were twisted, and broken. And now you go and do the same thing. To me." He pauses, his voice catching. "What you did was selfish."

"Yeah, you're right. It was selfish. But I'm okay with that."

"I'm not."

"Tough. Truth is, I'm tired, Sam. I don't know, it's like there's a, a light at the end of the tunnel."

"It's hellfire, Dean."

"Whatever. You're alive, I feel good – for the first time in a long time. I got a year to live, Sam. I'd like to make the most of it. So what do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little hell, huh?"

Dean smiles and nods to Sam and walks towards his side of the car.

Sam looks over at Lila, still standing there stunned. He walks over to her and she shakes him off.

"I'm fine Sam." She says taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." He tells her, walking towards the car himself.

She stands there for a moment, letting it all sink in. And she realized in that single moment that she was the selfish one, because as much as she loved Sam, she wished Dean would had just left him dead.

…

She can't sleep.

The air conditioning in their room is humming loudly and its all she can focus on, better than the thoughts storming though her head.

And she looks over at Dean, sound asleep next to her and she's thinking that it should not be possible to love someone so much.

It honestly freaked her the fuck out.

Lila climbs out of bed and decides that she needs some air, she grabs his shot gun off the table and slips her boots on her feet. She digs some change out of her jean pockets and decides that she also wants a cold soda.

Funny that she finds Sam at the soda machine.

He pops the tab of his orange soda and smirks at her. "Can't sleep either?"

She shakes her head, putting her change inside the machine. "Meanwhile your brother is sound asleep."

"Of course he is."

Lila presses the button for a grape soda and looks up at him.

"I don't care what he says..."

"Sam." She shakes her head, reaching for her drink.

"Its not supposed to be this way Lila."

She pulls her hair back from her face and watches him. "What are we supposed to do?"

"We keep finding a way to save him."

"And then what you die? And this whole stupid cycle just continues?"

He shakes his head. "I can't let him just die for me."

Lila sighs, opening her drink. She takes a long swig, she almost forgot how much she loved grape soda.

"We can find a way to save us both..."

Her eyes meet his.

"I know there has to be a way."

Lila nods, purely just to humor him. "Okay Sam. We find a way to save you both." It sounded like a fucking fairy tale when she actually says it out loud. But there was just something about the way Sam believed in it, that made her kind of believe in it too.

He holds his drink out to her. "Night Lila."

She taps her can to his and smirk. "Night Sam."


	10. Hell Hath No Fury

All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

A/N: Are y'all enjoying the posting frenzy I am having? What can I say when inspiration strikes... Anywho this chapter is going to do a bit of a time jump through season 3 lets just say that while I would love to re-write every episode with Lila in it I don't really want to drag this particular story out that long...

TimeLine: Some time after "Time Is On My Side" 

Fighting For Nothing  
Epilogue:  
"Hell Hath No Fury"

Time was ticking.

She could feel it, with every beat of her heart, their time was running out and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Sure they tried, God did they fucking try. Her and Sam exhausted every freaking option that played itself out in front of them. And Ruby, Sam's little demon friend with the magic knife, she even promised that she had some way to help them. She really had them going there for a second too.

But Lila, she had her own damn plan.

She rolls off the top of him, still shaking, laying back against the pillows and letting out a long sigh. "I don't think I've ever came so many times."

He chuckles. "Yeah, me either."

She curls up on his chest. Her heart was fucking breaking but, she wouldn't let him know that in this moment, no. This moment would be perfect.

He kisses her temple. "I love you."

"I love you too." She whispers, fighting the tears behind her eyes.

"I've been meaning to give you something I just... I was waiting for the right time to give it to you." He shifts, pulling his arm out from under her and slipping his bracelet off, the one she made him all those years ago.

"Dean..."

His eyes won't meet hers for a second, "I know its not much but... I just want you to have it."

She shakes her head. "No, its yours."

"Please." His voice sounds teary but she can't bring herself to look at him, her eyes are locked on that bracelet. Everything it means for her, for them, she couldn't bare the thought of him not wearing it again. "Take it, I want you to have something of mine."

"I want you."

He lets out a breath, and when she looks up at him he is indeed crying.

Mistake.

She couldn't take seeing him sad.

And as the clock ticked further and further towards his impending doom that seemed to be a common emotion for him.

She wraps her fingers around the bracelet, and leans down to kiss him. "I can't stand the thought of losing you."

"I'm sorry." He says against her lips, both of them taste the other ones tears but it doesn't matter, all that matters is that for that moment they're with the other one.

"I'll always love you." He promises her, and she breathes it in like fresh air.

He promises it to her again when he leaves her at Bobby's that day, his last day. He promises it as he presses her into the wall and kisses her goodbye.

And she would hang onto those words for the rest of her life.

However long that might be...

She knew the basics of a crossroads deal, but what she didn't know was if it would work or not. But Lila had to try, this was her last and final shot at saving him. She could not live without him, but she knew that he could manage without her. So it seemed like a fair enough trade.

Besides, what did she have left to live for?

Its a cold summer night in South Dakota, but that has nothing to do with why her hands are shaking as she buries that box filled with all the things she needed to summon a crossroads demon. Tears sting her eyes when she stands up looking around waiting for her salvation.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Lila Dawson." It hisses from behind her.

She spins around and comes face to face with a tall lady in a long black dress. Her dark curls are perfection hanging around her face.

"You know who I am?" Lila asks, confused as she has ever been. Sure demons all over seemed to know Dean and Sam by name, but her? She was usually not recognized.

"Dean Winchester's girl... how would we not know who you are, and let me guess sweetheart you wanna trade him places?"

"How'd you guess?" She asks, trying to play it light.

It smirks at her, eyes flashing red. "I can smell the desperation radiating off of you."

"So we can skip the preamble, do we have a deal or not."

It shakes its head. "I'm not dealing with you honey."

"Why not?"

It chuckles. "Dean doesn't even know you're her does he? Oh this is getting good... you're trying to be the hero and save him, how romantic..."

"Look bitch, I don't have time for games." Lila says through clenched teeth. "I don't want a year, I don't even want another minute, just call up you hell hounds and take me now. Where you gonna find a better deal than that?"

"Sorry sweetie, I would really like to help you and all but I can't send a pregnant lady to hell and still be able to sleep at night..."

Everything stops, even her heart.

"What?" It chuckles. "You didn't know?"

Lila absently touches her stomach. "You're lying."

"Oh, come on. Don't be that naive. I mean what did you expect would come of all that _sinning_ you too were doing? I mean surely someone gave you the talk..."

"Fuck you,"

"Now Lila that is what got you in this mess in the first place."

"Look, I don't have time to play games with you, I mean what's so special about Dean anyways? Why is it you're all so gung-ho to get a hold of his soul? Mine is probably much more shinier."

It wags a finger at her, smirking. "What would Dean think, you trying to send you and your unborn child into the pit? I am sure he wouldn't approve."

She wants nothing more than to kill this thing, but, she doesn't have time for it. Because there is a little voice in the back of her head that's telling her that her period _is_ late, and its not like they were ever fucking careful, Dean Winchester was the king of the _pull out method,_ and maybe this fucking thing was telling the truth...

Maybe.

"Fuck off, you evil bitch." She spits at it, spinning around to walk away.

"Oh Lila," It calls stopping her in her tracks. "Good luck getting to him in time... But maybe its better he doesn't know, might make this whole thing harder for him than it already is."

She ignores her and bolts off towards her car. She doesn't think as she's driving, she doesn't even think she's breathing. How the hell was she supposed to fix this mess now? How the hell was she supposed to do this without him?

And to top it all off, she has no fucking idea where they even are.

…

Its in a QuickStop bathroom under a flickering neon light that she finds out the truth.

Two pink lines, actually six if you want to count all three tests she took.

She throws them into the trash, trying to remind herself to breathe as she makes her way outside, she had been calling Dean for almost an hour, and on her last try she decides to leave him a voicemail. "You've reached Herman Munster, leave a message at the beep..."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't save you." She breathes in a deep breath trying not to fall to pieces in the gravel parking lot. "I keep trying to imagine what you might say to me if you were here. You'd probably be freaked, and you would probably be sick, but I just have this feeling that you might also be excited. That it might just complete your fucking life to know that you were going to be a daddy and I'm sorry that you'll never get to know." She rests her head in her hand for a moment and the tears start pouring then. "Please don't be dead, don't be gone yet. Please just fucking answer your phone."

Ten minutes later, Sam calls.

She's still sitting in her car, staring out at the dark road, completely numb and unfeeling.

"Lila, he's..." Sam whispers on the other end of the phone, breaking her heart, tearing her open all over again.

"I know." She says, biting her bottom lip.

Sam lets out a teary sigh. "I'm sorry, I tried. I really tried."

"Me too."

He sobs another sorry into the phone and then all she can hear is the sound of his chest heaving. It hurts so bad to think that he is actually gone.

It hurts like a broken bone, but they heal, they always heal.

"Hey Sam..." She breathes, leaning up and starting the engine of her car. He falls silent, waiting. "You're gonna be an uncle."

…

/ And that my friends is the end of this part of the story. I will post the next part tomorrow when I get to my other computer with the chapters on it. I hope this end wasn't too abrupt for you guys I am very anxious to post/write the next part of this story for y'all. And as always thank you, thank you, thank you for reading :)


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